Published February 21, 2011
This is my poem "The Storm", so let me know what you think of it!
The Storm...
The sounds of the roaring thunder, and the quickening flashes of lighting, the pitch black sky, not a sight, not a sound, but the storm… The rain crashing down against the windows, the wind pushing against the shutters and the on going sounds of sirens… all this commotion is it but a nightmare, or is it reality? Or is it of total dementia? Whatever the reason, my head twists and turns, all these emotions, all the rage and sadness, within me. My mind lies within The Storm.
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140,234 Literary Works • 673,048 Reviews
Hey, moderncalypso here to review for you! I like this poem, but it doens't seem very poetic to me. It is a little hard to read and the format of it seems a little discouraging to me. It is better than it was before, but the line format seems a little awkward to me. It was very discriptive though. I felt like I could hear the rain and thunder, and feel the fear. It may be a good thing it wasn't long, or I would of been freaking out
. All in all, I enjoyed this piece and hope you keep writing poetry, because I will read it.
Welcome to YWS CreativeXpressions,
I liked this poem. Just one thing, I think you need to change the format a little, but thats just my opinion. You may have intended it to be like that. Anyway it was a good poem. Well done and keep writing!
hey, it's a nice write
but it would be indeed easier to read if you write it in lined formation..
like it though!
Hey!
First of all let me just say that i loved this poem! It was very descriptive, however short. Even though this was a great poem all in all it seemed like it was lacking some more in depth adjectives to describe the scene. You used quite a view verbs and description words but it almost seems like you were using a simple language that was a little too simple.? That may just be me though. 
Anyway, I thought it was good but could just used a couple of tweaks.
Hey CreativeXPressions,
Welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy your time here, and you can call me Alex.
I feel like you wrote this in a rush.
It's a very visual poem, but it's also kind of vague. You should write so that you give your reader a hint as to exactly what you're trying to say, but don't be explicit and blatent.
Since I'm not sure what you were trying to say at all, I can't give you much criticizm. Just one thing, I think writing any sort of poetry in a lined format has a much better effect on the reader.
Keep writing!
-Alex