Cold and hard it grips you with claws,
As you die, you fall into its mighty maws,
Once it has you you're trapped forever,
To claim humanity it must endeavour,
Death is inevitable yet people resist,
It clouds your common sense in a viscous mist,
It rules the underworld, strong and powerful,
Ever to rule, death is unstoppable.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I liked this poem and I'm not a poetry lover. The imagery you used it great and I like the subject. I'm into dark stuff haha XD And the message is true, death is coming whether you like it or not! But the more you think about it...the more haunting the whole concept becomes.
The sentence, 'It clouds your common sense in a viscous mist' is very powerful, I could almost feel the gooey ickiness and had me visualising a black blot in your mind, spreading.
Great poem!
Sorry I meant to add, I love your use of imagery and other English devices.
Aww that was really good and to think you did that in Math. WOW!!
Keep writing. I love what you do and look forward to the next instalment!
Hello, CrazyWriter! I am Dark, and I have a few thing to say about this poem. It is marvelous!!! The only thing wrong is that you spelled vicious wrong. It is not spelled "viscous", but that isn't a serious flaw. It doesn't. Mean you don't have a lot of talent because of one spelling mistake.
It is true, those who aren't one with death (for example, like me) cannot escape it. You made that made that very clear in this poem. Also I did like your rhyme scheme and the unique words you used to create it.
No, it's supposed to say 'viscous' check the dictionary
Hey crazy writer!
I'm hanorah and this is my review hope it helps!
I thought this was a great poem and it is amazing how you were able to write this in maths class!I don't really have anything bad to say except I would like to ask, what is a maw?apart from that everything was good,well done!
I think it's another word for jaw or something like that
great work pal! its so true. its a great work in one hour, honestly. specific and compels to ponder upon
Hi! So I found this poem rather compelling, but like with any piece of literary work, there's always room for improvement
Keep writing.
Something that stuck out to me was the phrase, 'mighty maws'. I don't know what a maw is, so I found it distracting. You have to be careful with rhyming, because the rhymes have to flow, and make sense as well. The second rhyme was a bit forced. The subject of your poem is great, and taking away the rhymes won't decrease it's value at all! So if you can't find a better word than 'maw', you should just change the rhyming aspect, or even use a technique such as assonance. You actually used that in the second and third lines, with the words, ' forever' and 'endeavor'.
I like the end, but the word 'unstoppable' bothers me. It's somewhat cliche. You could use something like inevitable. Look in the thesaurus.
Overall, I loved the tone and the idea. Great great great!
Hello! Ill review you today. That is amazing for something written in under an hour. Believe me i am totally one to write poetry in math class. but that is really good. i love the unique words you rhymed. i would have never thought of that. Maybe make it a little longer come up with a second stanza or something but other than that CHANGE NOTHING. Keep writing instead of mathing