Young Writers Society

this is a rough draft that I need constructive reviews on please understand that this is my first short story.

The brambles tore at my skin like rows of teeth and whips snatching my flesh away. But I could not stop. I had to keep running.

Let me start from the beginning, or at least the origin of my plot. It was deep in the winter and some other prisoners of war and I were being carted off the frontlines to a dreaded place known to us only as Caranar Prison. To my knowledge only seven people had ever escaped from Caranar, and only two escaped and lived. It was guarded by magic, demons, and a 50 foot tall black stone wall ten feet thick. When the remnants of my battalion and I arrived I was terrified. We all knew of the ring of hell with black stone walls that no one ever escaped. Outside the walls they decided who was worth keeping and torturing for information and who to dispose of. Caranar was meant to break your spirit, take your will away. We arrived at the gates one of the guards went in and an officer came out. He was in full plate armour embossed with silver. He pointed at me and a few others, then we were taken out of our, group sure we were going to die. Then a mage cast a spell which killed all but the selected few. I should tell you about magic. Magic is invoked through the use of the language of the dragons, so anyone can cast it but magic takes the same amount of energy to complete a task as if you'd done it yourself, just more efficiently.As we were escorted thru the gates we could see the hundreds of guards walking around the parapets and watching the gates from the walls. I thought an escape would be easy I didn't know how wrong I was. As I entered my cell I noticed the lack of a light source and the fact that there were no bars only stone no way to see the outside no way to see at all. They left me in there for an amount of time I can never know feeding me small amounts of food only enough to keep me alive and to keep the information I knew undamaged. After my solitary confinement they dragged me out and subjected me to all kinds of physical torture all the while careful not to damage my mind. After months of this when the guards dragged me back to my cell I overheard them say

“They’re subjecting this one to mental probing the day after tomorrow” this sent chills down my spine, I had no fear that I would give in to physical torture but I knew that even though I had been trained how to block people from accessing my mind it rare I met someone that could read minds and had never been able to practice blocking them. I had to escape before they tried to read my mind. I hatched a plot with the man across the cell from me by tapping on the wooden door using a code thought up by the commander I served under ten long years ago. He said that his name wa Arkanin and him and some other prisoners decide to break out the next morning. When the guard opened my cell door I let them bind me and drag me out and when I got out of the cell I rammed my feet into the guard in front of me. The guard dragging me dropped me in surprise and started to draw his sword. I knew when that sword left its sheath the fight was already over so I lunged at him grabbing his wrist and slamming it into the stone wall. As it turns out the guard I kicked recovered much faster than I had anticipated and restrained me from behind as the guard in front of me slammed me in the gut with his non-broken hand. He took a swing at my face and instead of letting my head fall after he hit me I used my momentum and rammed my skull backwards into the face of the guard restraining me. As the grip restraining me slackend I jerked my arms free, grabbed the keys of the guards belt, ran to the cell across from mine, sent a prayer to the gods and put the key in the lock, I heard a click as the door flew open and Arkanin a brawny elf ran out and started fighting the guards with me. After we had subdued them we let out thirteen other prisoners all of which we had talked to and made sure we could trust. I grabbed a crossbow of a guard and Arkanin took the broadsword of the other. At the back door we killed two more guards without raising the alarm. after the guards were dead all the prisoners we had set free ran towards the north gate with only me and Arkanin staying behind. The soldiers cut them off and killed them but not before me and Arkanin had run out the east gate. We were just outside the gate when a guard saw us we killed him quickly but not before he let out a yell “Alarm!” the singular word rung out through the night and the woods that lay twenty feet ahead of us. I looked back and saw every guard in the complex looking at us. Then the silence was broken and the guards ran for us we sprinted into the forest we were able to outpace the guards who were in armour and we felt home free when we heard the rumble on horses. A few minutes later the horsemen caught up with us there was only five. I shot one horse in the chest with my crossbow and started weaving through the trees. I heard a yell as Arkanin was shot down beside me I wanted desperately to help him but I couldn't and I left him writhing there like a snake. I ran thru the trees deeper into the woods. The brambles tore at my flesh ripping it off like a butcher skinning a animal. I heard the sound of rushing water and ran toward it desperately trying to lose the horses. As I reached a cliff I saw the source of the noise on the other side of the chasm I saw a waterfall and when I looked down I saw a lake below me. I turned around trapped between the ledge and the soldiers and as the soldiers came up I realized that this was a choice between near certain death or the extraction of information vital to the war. I looked the lead horseman he was wearing embossed silver full plate. I looked into his eyes and knew I couldn't win a fight and I was done running. I think he realized I was sick and tired of dodging death and I was committed to the war. I saluted him and I took a leap of faith. As I fell I heard a wizard yell a spell to catch me but magic takes energy and I was falling fast I felt my momentum slow and then I felt the grip of the mage disappear as all his energy was depleted and I fell. I don't remember hitting the surface of the lake all I remember was washing onto the shore and not being able to feel my legs. I have laid here for days now I heard a explosion near the fort a few hours ago and I heard a battle being waged and at the end I heard the cheer of liberated prisoners. And I smiled laughed at the irony and listened to the birds. it almost sunrise now and I know these are my last few hours and I wonder if someone will read this account of the last prisoner to ever break out of Caranar. I look at the wood on which I have carved and say my final prayers and accept my death. This is the last mark I will leave on the world.

Signing off Communications Officer of Battalion Theta, Kayinsan Huhv

May the gods guide you.