The Undead Zone

Hi there! Great job on this. It was very mysterious and cool. Though, like others have noted, it does leave a certain something to be desired because of the abrupt ending. Even still I think it was very entertaining (albeit short). You have set the perfect groundwork for a longer story. It has amazing potential. Good luck writing more!

great good I was hanging on every word but I feel like I want more on where and when and the character but apart from that great graphic detailing.

Hello again

I truely am becoming a big fan of yours. Unlike alot of others shorts i have read on this site, yours never cease to please me. Your words flow wonderfully and i never feel bored when reading your writing. The whole time reading this my heart was racing. Will she get attacked by a zombie? Will she get attacked by a human? These questions left me in suspense the entire time and im still hanging in suspense now. Is there anything in the house? Your writing is truely perfection.

Goodbye

I love this, the way you make it realistic by writing what the character would really be thinking, especially when you double up words and relate the fresh blood to the rain on the character's back.

All though there is no description for the character, male/female, young/old, job/name or even the clothing I felt that I was still drawn to the story and the ending is superb. It definitely left me wanting to read another page.

The only thing I see you could fix would be maybe change is the sentence

"I spin round, just seeing houses, nothing but houses." it just doesn't sound right, kind of through me off for a minute. something like - "As I turned around darken houses stood in the distance; nothing more, just houses."

Or something, IDK just had to think at that spot.
Anyway I cannot wait to read more

This is pretty good. Your use of the first person and present simple tense is especially effective in producing an atmosphere that is eerie, lonely, suspenseful and subtly introspective (without bluntly exposing everything there is to know about the character - he or she could be anyone, including the reader). There are a few specific points I wish to comment on:

"A fine, yet wet rain"

Clearly you are using the word 'yet' to emphasize the fact that the rain is wet despite being fine, and the fact it is 'fine yet wet' is important in that it leaves the protagonist exposed (both to the environment and to predators, seeing as a fine rain will not limit vision as much as a 'heavy' or 'dense' rain). However the word 'yet' does sound awkward here, though it's difficult to say why. In any case I would suggest slightly re-phrasing this part.

"Could there be people there?"

Double use of the word 'there' sounds slightly jarring. This isn't a big deal, really, but if you can change it that would be good.

"I grit my teeth as the rain chills me to the bone, soaking into my skin, dampening my thoughts, my hope."

Nice!

"And then there's the dead ones. The zombies. None of them today either, which is odd. I normally see a fair amount each day."

The tone here is a bit casual.

"I walk up to one, to see if it's really dead dead, when I see that it's already been killed."

I'm not a grammar expert, but I think this sentence is grammatically incorrect. If you omit the middle clause, it becomes "I walk up to one when I see that it's already been killed." It certainly doesn't sound quite right. I would divide this into two sentences (splitting them after 'dead') and omit 'when'. Oh, and the 'dead dead' part is a bit awkward in writing, though I know it sounds right when you say things like that out loud.

"But not by anything natural."

Usually the word 'killed' implies an unnatural death, so this isn't really necessary. Unless you're trying to get something else across, but if that's the case it isn't very clear.

"A clear wound stands out from its head, a gun shot?"

Again, this is grammatically awkward. Put a full stop where the comma is. "A gun shot?" still won't be a sentence, but it is an acceptable stand-alone clause.

"Fresh as the rain that's trickling down my back."

This made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Good!

"The hair stands up on the back of my neck."

However this felt unnecessary and cliche (the previous sentence conveys more or less the same feeling thing, but with far greater originality).

Overall I liked it, you write very well. I liked the fact that we haven't seen a zombie yet, as it means you are focusing more on the psychological rather than the 'AAAAHHH ZOMBIES!!! RUN!!!!' (thriller?) aspect of horror fiction. It might be more effective if you omit the reference to the character encountering zombies on a daily basis, as this will add to the character's loneliness (even zombies count as company...I mean, they don't...not really...but they sort of do...) and it will heighten the sense of terror when a zombie does appear. As it is we assume the character has had plenty of prior experience of zombies, so we don't feel too frightened for him or her.

Having said that, your portrayal of the eerie silence and lack of other forms of life being a novelty does have an important value of its own, which could easily be lost if you take my last suggestion to heart. It could work either way, and ultimately it's up to you!

Whoooo, zombies! XD I love dem dead but not dead things so much. Maybe more than I should. Anywaaay, onto the review.
I really loved reading this piece! Is this a prologue? If it is, I can't wait to read more. It's a great start so far. I love the way you kept us in suspense, as if she turned around something might have attacked her, but I'm a little disappointed that nothing has happened much or she hasn't really spotted a zombie yet, because if she did it might have been a great way to end the prologue (if it is one, that is). I think it would put a more vivid image in my head if you described the village she sees or the abandoned houses.
Also, I think this line is a little odd:

I spin round, just seeing houses, nothing but houses.

I spin around but all I see is houses, nothing out of the ordinary.

HEY WHATS UP?? YAY FOR ZOMBIES! I loved this!! It really shows how humans react to survival situations! This could be a really good zombie novel! I tried writing one myself! I can really feel the chill of the air! The nerves of your character! A good story captures the reader and draws in what the character is feeling! I can totally feel the haunting feeling you get from being alone! GOOD JOB!

Hello,
I would like to tell you that this is a very good story, and since I enjoyed reading it I will review it. But before that, I want to know, is this just a short story, or the beginning of a longer one? If this is just the first chapter or the prologue, I would like to read the continuation.
Anyway, this story is great, and you do a very good job creating suspense. It is very alive and quick-paced. However, it would probably seem a bit more real if you described the place a bit more. The only thing that seems strange to me in this story is the length of the paragraphs, which are about a sentence long each. I don't know if that was made on purpose or not, but it suits the story.
Well, that is all I've got to say, I see no grammatical or spelling mistakes. Keep up the good work and I'd like to read to continuation. Good job!
-Alfonso

Hey, Thomas here. I like this quite a lot, there were a few things which you could have done better. You spent quite a bit of time/space describing stuff when you could have been building up the character. You described the rain more than you described your character. That might be your style of writing, but just a little bit more could have been better. Other than that it was really interesting, and you left me at such a cliff hanger at the end...