Published March 29, 2007
" These are very dark time's young Cluck skywalker." said obi one Hen one
" what do you mean Obi one Hen one?" asked Cluck S
" for over a thousand million years us free range chickens have lived in harmony with the barn"said obi one hen one
" What's the barn?" asked Cluck
" The barn is a mystic force, a sort of felling thing it gives us are powers. That creates all organic things." Repleyd Obi one Hen one.
"ohh" Sighed Cluck
" But alas the farm has been taken over by the...
Genticaly made Dark side of the barn. Seduced ny lower priced prices, pepole have been buying of the Dark side of the barn. But there is a new hope, there has been a freerange Rebellion, You must learn the ways of the Barn, that is if you want to save princess Layer."
Hologram of princess Layer comes up
" Your my only hope Obi-one " said princess Layer.
"i will do it." Cluck Skywalker.
"Of course you will need to make some friends to help you." Obi one Hen one.
Cluck skywalker gulp's.
Cool music in background Cluck goes to sit down neer to pepole"
"My name is Han chicken I here you are looking for a pilot to help you find your way round the farm, ill help you pluss i have the best co pilot in the world Chuckebbaca!"
"Raggrh" said Chuckebbaca.
(Three hours later...)
"Hey look out for those tie fighters! Hey there heading for that small moon!"
said Cluck
"That's no moon, that's a egg." obi-one.
Everyone "The Death egg!"
"Raggrh!"
( have 2 go edit and finish soon later)
i am writing this very strange passage for points
ansd in those day's burger's took bits out of you!
gag gag gag gag gag gag!
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137,419 Literary Works • 672,008 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...I am absolutely cackling like a madwoman right now and wow is this some start right here. I had no idea what to expect when the title said Chicken but it certainly wasn't this. Wow this is something else here, I am loving every minute of this here and well plotwise its the traditional sort of start that isn't terribly special, but the humor here is off the charts.
Oh wow, I was wondering how these stakes are going to established and I am loving every minute of this. I especially how almost realistic the problem is, its not so far fetched that as the reader you can't imagine it at all, but instead it seems almost plausible, and then of course there is the fact that everyone is a chicken and I am very close to falling off this chair with laughter.
Oh my goodness I did not expect to have the death star be an actual egg. I don't know what that means for the story here, because I feel like the egg is something they would protect, not destroy but ahh, I loved every minute of this even if the plot maybe needs to be thought of a little more carefully. I'm only really disappointed that this isn't complete.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
ok then...
I...don't know what to say--it was weird, it was hard to follow, it was not the good weird.
It was really strange and the lack of punctuation made it harder to follow--I'm sorry, but I really didn't like it that much.
Thank u 4 moving safe!
Not Non-Fiction by any stretch.
Moved.
why do you lie about your age Kain1234
havent had time to edit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
meow
I like the bit about Princess Layer
but you really must add punctuation, capitals, put this out more clearer and spellcheck it. Otherwise people critiquing this are gonna come down on you like a ton of bricks. 
I'm sure you can see where you need punctuation and capitals, so I won't crit. I'll just add that you need to double space between your lines of dialogue.
-ST
gd, but loo through for punctuation and spelling eg flite - flight