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by Cole

Published August 10, 2011

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Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
shiney1
Review
shiney1 wrote a review Review · Aug 11, 2011

I do understand this. I have to say, this is a bold and new take on this story...and I like that.

I can understand those who don't know and understand this part in the Bible would have a hard time understanding this piece, but that seems okay to me. It's more fun to dissect.

Sorry, I can't really provide a proper review, for I could not see many spelling and punctuation errors. And asking you to add anything to this already complex piece would be overkill DX

i really like it :)

DukeofWonderland wrote a review Review · Aug 10, 2011

Great imagery but I still don't get the whole story. Descibe more at the beginnig and end to give your reader a clearer concept. the mid part flowed well. as far aS I noticed good punctuation and grammar but God-man sounds....well, weird. The whore part was a little too...well it was different than the rest of your descriptions all of a sudden, blah, I don wanna keep my thoughts to me, sort of feeling from the writer there. But you were very effective and had great imagery.
Of this topic, been a while since I heard : tell me your story :). Man I miss my friends. Sad part of growing up. :( (my first sad emoticon on YWS)

Random avatar
DeeBee
Review
DeeBee wrote a review Review · Aug 10, 2011

So, first of all, I'm gonna say that I really like it! I love the way you describe things, both the physical part of the people in the story, and what's going on inside the guy's head. Also, I don't really get it, exactly. From the very beginning I was trying to figure out what was really going on and as I got towards the end, I still couldn't, really.
I'm guessing it's got something to do when Jesus is dying on the cross and there are Pharisees or some people of the like that are spitting at him and just plain despising him. I don't know if I'm just a little thick or what, but a little bit of clarity and of what's really going on would be nice. :)

Besides that, great piece!



You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children.
— Madeleine L'Engle, Author