Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Supernatural

E - Everyone

The Vampire And The Hybrid-Prologue:An Understanding

by ColdOne


Prologue

    My white hair fell in front of my face as I rolled into the tree I was thrown into. The tree I was thrown into my own father. 

    The man who gaive me life. The man who had protected my when I was younger. The man who taugh me how to fight. The man that married my mother and killed her. The man who I though cared about me, but in the past weeks I've come to know that he didn't.

    Now all I had in my heart for him was hatered. Because he was the reason I was a monster, that I was freak of nature. He's reason I was a Hybrid, let alone one of a Demon and Angle. Beacuse I've come to realize that the only thing he ever cared about was himself, and fullfilling grate-grandfather's curse.

    No. No I wasn't a monster. I wasn't a monster because I had something to protect. I have my family and my friends.

    I have to protect them. I have to protect Morrow, Razare, KL, Bein, Ash, Fionia, Sam, Vlad, Eddie, and Jack. God I have to protect Jack. I love him to much to watch him die if fail here and now.

    Although, I cant help but think, that if maybe, I had never came her to Macarthiney, that my father would have never of had the the chance to put his plan into action, kill my mother, use Jack's cousin based on the fake hope he was giving him, and would have ever threatened the most important things to me in my life. 

   So I must fight now. I must fight to protect all that I love.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
19 Reviews


Points: 337
Reviews: 19

Donate
Thu Oct 24, 2019 2:03 pm
EmileeBrightman wrote a review...



Hello! I'm here to do a review on your lovely start to an amazing story!

I saw this in the Green Room with only one review, so I decided to check it out. I'd like to start out by saying I can't wait to read more of this! I love supernatural love stories, and when I saw this, I knew I hit the jackpot. This is an excellent start to an awesome story, I can already see it.

I'm not really one for really giving out a lot of criticism, so sorry if you were looking for that! I'd just like to say once again that this was good, and I hope to read more of your works!! I know that they'll be just as good as this one was. When I read this, I could tell that you can go far, just don't give up on your dreams! Honestly, I don't really have anything other negative things to write, because this piece is done well. Keep up the great work, and don't ever stop believing in yourself!! And, Em out! :)




User avatar
18 Reviews


Points: 53
Reviews: 18

Donate
Mon Oct 21, 2019 9:30 pm
LadyMysterio wrote a review...



Hey, I can’t wait to read this!
This is a good hook it really makes the reader want to read more.
I’d like to point out a few spelling mistakes I noticed. I’ve listed them here with part of the sentence they are in so you can easily spot them.

The tree I was thrown into my own father.
The man who gaive me life. The
protected my when I was younger.
taugh me how to fight.
d Angle.
Beacuse I've
grate-grandfather's
I cant help but t
I had never came her to Macarthiney,

I also noticed a few other things too.
‘I've come to know that he didn't.’ I would suggest putting ‘never did’ instead of ‘didn’t’ it sounds better
‘ I wasn't a monster because I ha.’ ‘I am not and never will be a monster’ sounds better
‘ protect Morrow, Razare, KL, Bein, Ash, Fionia, Sam, Vlad, Eddie, and Jack.’
This is a bit long and is tiring to read through, instead of listing Their names maybe put ‘had to protect my friends, especially Jack.’

Again VERY good hook.
Keep writing
-Lady Mysterio





If you can't get out of your comfort zone, you'll never find what you're looking for. Don't make things quick and easy to feel better short term. Make a change and then you'll feel better longer term.
— Frinderman