Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.
Four years have passed and you're still fucking breaking my heart. You're still tearing my skin from the inside. I'm still dreaming of you and waking up thinking you're there.
Is this what love is? Or is it just another piece of my self destruction?
In a quest to forget you I have thrown myself into everything I can that has saved me again and again; the writing and the creativity and the impromptu dissections of who I'm supposed to be
Without you I am nothing but a crumbled piece of toast bitten into and forgotten on the floor and not even the flies will touch me because I am
poison. Poison, venom leaking from my pores and infecting everyone around me like I am the modern plague and it's all they can live tweet about. It's so popular it has a Twitter moment - the demise of my eyes, light fading like turned off headlights of the car I want to wrap around a tree and then maybe I’ll see
in the darkness that I am nothing more than a dying star and you have always been my salvation.
have always been my definition of a super nova, warp speed to godspeed to goodbyes, I am nothing without the one who holds me up,
like the pedestal to my statue all I wanted was to devalue you and maybe at the end it's not the cheating or the heartbreak or the commitment I'm afraid of.
Maybe it's just me, broken and alone on a twin mattress on the floor. You have taken chunks from me but in between the marks from your teeth there are promises and muffled screams and cycles of broken sobriety and maybe you were just the drug before the drugs, something to numb my pain, and
now without you and without the heroin all i can do is pick apart my brain
to avoid putting a bullet in it.