Young Writers Society

The words of the first stanza gives it a really sad and lonesome feel to it which sets it up for the remainder of the poem.

It is very picturesque and there are little snippets that co relate with similar past experiences of mine, you've been able to portray it beautifully even if it is a sad subject, so kudos for that.

It's all very descriptive and puts you into the mood that the character is feeling, which is what good poetry is supposed to do.

I like how you tied it all together in the last line, very powerful I might add.
It is a poem that conjures up that feeling of longing, and it couldn't have been done a better way.

Of what I've read of your poetry I think I've stumbled upon a new favorite.

The first stanza is very descriptive.

How can such a place ever have been graced by whom i adore'd.

I descend the stairs, feeling all of the banisters creases,
The phone at the bottom, reminds me of the hours we spent talking.
Like the ceder tree on the beach outside, my memories are in pieces,
That beach that she loved more than me,she was forever walking.

Entering the sitting room,
the reapers claws try to pull me to the couch.
Im fighting to save my life,
but you just see me standing with a slouch.

unwashed hair, face so gaunt.

I put on my boots and head out the door,
the dark clouds gather and the rain begins to pour.
The door slams shut, will one ever open again?
Maybe heartbreak is the gateway, boys pass through and come out men.