I said I wouldn't call you, for two days or three,
But this is destroying me... Oh can't you see?
I cant keep my food down, I feel constantly sick,
Please won't you talk to me, and make it quick,
The headaches are starting, 'Cos I'm getting no sleep,
Soon enough, I'll be on the floor in a heap,
My head is saying, " Girl, get a grip!"
But my heart just feels like a sinking ship,
It's our anniversary today,One year and two months,
Maybe I should text you, just this once,
How the hell am I supposed to go on,
You're not here babe, you're gone...you're gone,
Just one day or two, left to go, I have to do this, I have to show,
That the torture was worth it, shall I tell you why?
Because I'd do anything to avoid good-bye,
You crossed your heart, and swore you wouldn't leave,
We can fix this, you just have to believe,
I love you more than you'll ever know,
The words from our song, I just had to borrow,
To remind you that no matter what,
All that we've shared cannot be forgot',
I cant express what you mean to me,
There just aren't enough words in the dictionary,
So, come back home, we can work this out,
I promise you, I will not shout,
Give our love a fighting chance,
Let us revive our lost romance.
Oh my god, this poem is amazing! I can totally relate to the message of your poem since I experience heartbreak and I really wanted the guy back. I love how you describe the narrator's endless love for her ex. To be honest, I don't really like rhyming poems because there so annoying to write and boring to read. But you used rhyming to help enhance the poem for the reader. I hope you're not going through this. Keep on writing! 
I love it! Normally, when I'm reading a rhyming poem it sounds really cheesy to me, but I actually liked it a lot in this one.
After you say, "...in a heap," I think that instead of a comma there should be a period because you switch topics. The same goes for a lot of the other couplets, and maybe you should break some of it into stanzas...?
Really, though, those are just nitpicks and I thoroughly enjoyed your work. I can't wait to read more of your poems!
This poem has many feels. I love how its so deep and real, I hope you write more like this. You have a lot of talent.
Hey! Tigerlilly here for a review!
As you requested, I came to read this immediately. You are an excellent writer! Anyways, this is really sad. I really hope you arent going through this 
It was really good, and I liked it a lot. I do think it could possibly be modified to be a bit better. I think that the things that I am finding fault with is the structure of the poem. For the most part, you did really well. I just think that you could break them into a few stanzas, and possibly modify your rhyming a bit, because sometimes it just doesn't work out quite right. Either way, its a lovely piece! Good job!
120,376 Literary Works • 649,632 Reviews
Points: 733
Reviews: 9
Donate