Kassie's Diary

October 1,

My name is Kassie Hernandez I am an incoming Freshman. I am 5'6" feet tall I am as tall as my dad. I have really long black curly hair. This is my first time writing in the diary. The person who gave me this dairy was my mom, but I just started writing on it. I am currently attending Marc and Eva Stern Math and Science High School. I had no type of friends until I met Jennifer. Jennifer is in all my classes we are both 5'6" feet tall and she has long hair. We hung out together during nutrition and lunch and found out that we had a lot in common. When I went back home my parents were waiting for me in the living room. They told me that I was dumb for failing a math test when I got 95 out of 100 which was an A+. They said I supposedly failed the test so they grounded me. They also told that if I told anyone about what they were saying I was going to get into a lot of trouble.

October 5,

I know I haven't been writing in my diary but days have passed and my parents keep saying a lot of mean stuff to me. When we entered class Jennifer asked me if there was something wrong, but I didn't tell her because I was afraid of my parents. That same day she said that she didn't want to talk to me because me not trusting her. When I got home my parents told me to go my room without eating anything for no reason. I was starving, but they didn't let me grab any food from the kitchen. I was starving the whole day I just couldn't wait till' breakfast for I can get something to eat. My parents didn't let me go outside to hang out with my friends like I always did because of my grades and not passing my test, but it wasn't fair at all because they didn't let me do my homework.

October 10,

I know I have not been writing in the diary a lot but these few days, but I've been noticing that my parents don't have that same old love with me. When I went into their room and asked them why they didn't have the same old love they said that they don't love me. When I went back to school I tried to talk to Jennifer, but she didn't want to talk to me because of what had happened the other day, but I kept trying and trying, but she didn't want to talk to me anymore. During lunch I told Jennifer that my parents been fighting. When I got home they told me to start working on my chores and once I was done to cook and then straight to bed. I couldn't stop thinking about what was I going to do with all of my homework because I knew I was going to fail all classes because of all the homework I don't turn in.

October 15,

I've been doing a lot bad ever since my parents don't let me do any of my homework. Jennifer tried helping me get all my grades up, but it was all hopeless because I wasn't able to do any of my homework for any of my classes and I had straight C's. When my first final report card came they asked me why I had straight C's and I answered them because you don't let me do my homework and they said because you're stupid and don't talk back to us. They also told me that I needed to stop talking back to them with that mouth if not they will take me out of school and just put me to work. I don't want to get out of school because I wanted to keep seeing Jennifer at school.

October 20,

Days had passed and I was still failing all classes because of my parents fault, but my teachers didn't believe me that my parents don't let me do my homework. I started going to school early because I want to have time to at least try to do some of my homework. I was half was done until the bell rang to go to Advisory so when I got there I went straight into finishing all my homework. When I got home they called my house saying that I blamed them for not being able to finish all my homework. My parents got so mad they asked me why did I teacher that we didn't let you do your homework. They got so mad that they gave me consequences. All they gave me to eat was half an eaten bread and milk because of what I had done.

***

October 25,

I think that they always wanted a smart good-grade daughter, but they don’t like me. I am not the daughter they wanted. I always have bad grades even though I tried my parents never seem to understand that I really am trying hard to pick up my grades, do chores, and finish my homework on time. I am a teenager it’s hard for me I never been this stressed out over school or doing chores.

October 30,

Today my parents said the worst thing to me. They told me that I’m stupid, ignorant and a bad daughter. I acted strong around them because I don't want them to see me cry because then they will know i’m weak. I just wish I could stand up for myself but I'm scared that they will hit me. Today is Halloween and I'm not coming home until it’s late so my parents won't have to get mad at me. I'm getting ready to leave to my best friends house, I'm waiting for my Best friend Jennifer to come pick me up so we could leave together. Wow!!!! It's 11:00 pm and I just got home. Thank god my parents weren't awake because they will get mad at me. Being at my best friends house was good we were watching horror movies, ate popcorn and we even order pizza. Jennifer and I were laughing the whole time and having fun.

November 9,

The day after I came back my parents ask me what time I came back.

I said "At 11 why?"

My parents said "Why that late? Where were you?"

I said " I was at my best friend house'

My parents got mad they were saying "Kassie go to your room right now"

I said " But I haven't finish eating and I’m hungry."

They said " I don't care get your ugly face out of here."

I didn't know what to do so i left running to my room. I was mad my whole body was hot that i couldn’t think right. I made a hole in the wall and when I looked at my hand I saw red warm liquid going down my hand and dripping on the floor.

November 19,

I am grounded and i can't believe i can't go out, but at night i been sneaking out to go to my best friends house. I call her first to know if I could go. Like yesterday I asked her

"Ayy Jennifer is it okay if i go to your house today?"

Jennifer: “Yeah sure just ask your parents permission first i don't want you to get in trouble."

i didn’t want to tell my parents, so i lied to her. I told her..

Me: "They said it was fine.That's why i called you."

Jennifer: "Alright I'll wait for you here"

Well I just came back from Jennifer’s house it was fun until she asked me why I don’t want to be at home.

I said “What do you mean?”

Jennifer: “It’s because you never want to be at your house anymore.”

Me: “I like being at home.”

Jennifer: “ No you don’t you always want to be at my house?”

Me: “Look i’m sorry but i have to go i’ll see you tomorrow in school.”

Jennifer: “Umm… okay bye.”

I went running to my house and climb up the medium size wall next to my house and get the ladder and go on top off the roof, then i go to my window that’s always open and i started writing on my journal.

November 29,

Well I know i haven’t been writing I’ve been trying to pick up my grades. It’s been hard Jennifer has been asking why i always go to her house but i don’t answer I try to change the topic. Then i been going to see my teachers for help but sadly he has a lot of students that go. My parents keep treating me bad i have been tired of them I cry myself to sleep because i keep on thinking it’s true and I’m just tired of it. My parents also left me a big bruise on my back and on my leg. I can’t wear any crop top shirts or any short shorts because someone might see them. I keep thinking maybe i should tell jennifer about my problem.

***

December 1,

I've had so much of it. I wasn't able to hold it in no more. Today after school I confessed to my best friend, Jennifer what my parents have been doing to me. How they are always bringing me down. And of course i couldn't hold back my tears I also had a big knot in my throat as I told her. For a minute there was silence. Then she tried her best to comfort me with her words. I was very grateful that i had finally let it out, talked to someone and who better then my bestfriend, my Jennifer.

December 5,

Even though I've let it out and now have someone to talk to and make me feel better it has all still been the same. Mom and dad don't seem to notice what they are doing to me. They hurting me to the max. All they tell me is how bad of a daughter I am, how I should've never been born, or how much of a waste of time I am. I honestly don't know why I'm still here. Still alive.

December 8,

For the past days I have been crying myself to sleep. It seems to me that whenever I am with Jennifer it all seems to be good. But when i get home it's straight to insults, complains, and arguments. The more time that passes the more i think of killing myself. I no longer think there is a point in being here. I'm not wanted or needed...goodnight now.

As i woke up I realized once again my pillow was full of tears. Not only that but i was curled up in a ball with my knees almost touching my forehead and with a massive pain in my stomach due to the fact I might have taken one too many pills. This was only a small attempt to suicide. Not to truly hurt myself but just to see what would happen.

December 15,

For the past days I've felt better because I was able to talk to my best friend of what has been happening at home. When I went to school there was an advertisement saying homecoming was that night. I wasn't in the mood for homecoming but Jennifer convinced me in going. I decided to wear my long black dress, with my red flats, that matched with the lipstick and bow I was going to put on.

December 18,

I haven't been writing for a while due to the incident that happened the night of homecoming. It was the worse but i felt the need to do it. Before we left that night Jennifer had asked for cream which i had gone to go get. While i was in the restroom looking for cream I decided to go for the pills. I had to much in mind because even though I was doing better my parents would still bring me down tell me so much that I honestly couldn't have anymore of their nonsense so I decided to take the pills. Jennifer had noticed I was taking to long. She knocked and knocked noticing it was quiet and i wouldn't answer so she decided to go for my parents. My dad kicked the door down with his foot and they all seen me lying unconscious on the floor with the pills all over the sink. It didn't take long for them to quickly put me in the car and drive anxiously, mom panicking, and Jennifer not knowing what to do. After two long days at the hospital I came back home with my parents actually treating me with care. Mom making me hot chicken soup and bringing it to me in bed while she sat next to me and ran her small soft hands through my hair, and ask if I was feeling better. Then there was dad who tried his best to comfort me with his words. December 30, It's been more than a week, I see things with my parents somewhat changing. Although I am not yet convinced that they are trying to change due to the fact that they have hurt me with so much that they have said. They are now letting me do my homework to try and get my grades up. This afternoon my mom came into my room saying,"Kassie, sweetie do you need help with anything"."No thank you mom", I responded with a surprised face as I have been doing lately because I don't know if my incident is the reason they are realizing how bad they would bring me down and how bad they needed to change.She continues with,"Well then I've been meaning to ask you what would you like me to make for dinner tonight since we want to celebrate that you are now better"."Anything would be fine" I said in a low voice and an awkward smile. "Alright then, I'll leave you to finish your homework" as she left she gave me a warm smile. I finally felt what it was like to be important to someone, to be loved, and especially to be cared for.

***

January 1,

January came and it was a lot of the emotional abuse that was affecting me. Jennifer noticed I wasn't the same, no more going out with her,I didn't want to eat ,and my grades were going down drastically.I had told Jennifer about the emotional abuse caused by my own parents. I had made her promise of not saying anything to anybody. Jennifer tried to persuade me into asking for help. "Don't say anything okay remember about our promise." I told Jennifer. Days past and she couldn't hold seeing me her best friend being treated like that and she decided to ask for help. Right after school when Kassie had left home she went to the counselor office and she asked the counselor of the school for help as she told him detail by detail about all emotional abuse her friend was going through at home the counselor listened attentively. The counselor suggested that for now to be there for at all time while he got an expert's help. Jennifer left the office and the way to her house she thought about if I would forgive her for not staying quiet, "Will she forgive me, I don't want to lose the best friend I have."

January 5,

The next day the counselor called me and Jennifer. Jennifer was worried about what was going to happen, would I be unhappy, we had gotten to the counselor office. There was this tall beautiful lady with a warm smile, sweet eyes, long straight hair, and eyes that said that everything will be okay. I was surprised, who was she? The beautiful lady presented herself as a therapist. Jennifer looked at me with eyes of worried, scared, like wanting to say something. I was confused. Jennifer then said, "Hey Kassie I am very sorry that I broke the promise but I couldn't hold seeing you suffer with no one to help you out. I hope you can forgive me." I said, " Yes I forgive you, you are my only friend, and yes I think it is time for me to get help." The therapist said that she had all her information and that later on she visit her house.

January 10,

Today the doorbell rang, I went to open it. It was the therapist, again with that smile. I let her in, "take a seat" and so did the therapist did. She told me to call her parents who were in the kitchen. My parents came and sat down confused of who was that. The therapist introduced herself and all of a sudden the dad madly said, " We don't need help!" The therapist said that yes they did and she explained to them that they need help. Both of my parents realized that yes they did need help. She made us communicate of why were they like that toward me, their daughter. Their response was, "I don't know" The therapy ended and the parents had realized that how much they loved their daughter and they had to show that too.