I don't know anything about poetry, either. But we learn as we go along, eh?
I'm sorry if my review sucks, but I want this out of the Green Room, so review I will xD
Okay, so I think this was overall good. I'll admit, I'm not so big on the repetition of "there goes Auntie Dunn" and "She has her cigarettes and opium." Honestly, it's a bit tedious. We got the idea the first and second time you said it. I feel like all of the other times, it's just a waste, and that you could use that line space for something more important. That's just my opinion, but I don't like it. So it's up to you to change it or leave it.
Besides that, this is pretty good. Not too shabby for a beginning poet! I found a rhyme here and there, but it wasn't following a distinct pattern (as far as I see) so thank god you didn't fret with that. Forced rhymes are always worse than no rhythms, honestly. xD
Overall, it was a nice poem! Nice imagery, good and clean flow, easy to read and comprehend. I enjoyed it.
Points: 4261
Reviews: 933
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