Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Most people could never feel what I feel. Never see what I see, and never experience what i've experienced. Thr bright lights are almost blinding, but i've gotten somewhat use to them by now. At least I can see the first few rows of screaming fans. Mostly the craziest girls take up the front row. I can only see them mouthing my name because the music is louder then all their voices put together. All I have to do is smile nd wink at them from under my dark brown bangs, and they scream like crazy. All I can do is laugh silently to myself and keep strumming my guitar. This baby never fails me. It's been going strong for a year now. 100+ concerts in 20+ states. She's my goodluck charm. I look to center stage amd there's Forrest pleasing the crowd like usual. The ls have a thing for him too. He always has a way to make a girl weak in the knees. Although he's four years younger than me, at fourteen years old, my brother can drive any crowd crazy. His voice is his secret weapon. He can carry on an entire concert without cracking a single note. There's a reason why we put him in charge of lead vocals. He's definately a performer. He knows how to use a stage. You'll always see him climbing on things, making the crowd go nuts. Most boys his age would never dream of doing half the things Forrest does. He continues to get up in front of an audience, night after night, without a single ounce of fear in his body. All the way at the far left of the stage is Andre strumming along with his bass. Unlike Forrest and I, Andre has the sense of humor. He can do anything to make the girls laugh. His blonde hair and shades get the ladies attention, then his jokes capture their heart. It's hard to make the fans laugh when Andre is there. It's kind of his forte. I get along with Andre more then Forrest because of the smaller age difference. Andre is only a year younger then I am. We can relate better. But the three of us rarely fight. Andre doesn't just lure in the seventeen year olds, but all the girls out there. They all fall for his blonde hair and never ending smile. He takes off his glasses revealing his green eyes, and the crowd errupts into wave of screaming. This sound is strangely familiar. It happends everytime we come on stange, almost like standing behind an airplane while it's reving up. Andre throws his glasses into the crowd as Forrest finishes the last word of the song. "How is evrybody doing tonight?" Forrest asks the crowd of sreaming fans. "Thanks for comming out! We love you all! Goodnight everybody!" The crowd cheers and whistles alost luder now because of the lack of music. The lights fade and we find our way to the bkac of the stage in the dark. Big guys dressed in black lead us down the hall through these little tunnels until we get to a room that has "BURNHAM" written in the door in big writing. I handed my guitar to the stage manager and headed to th mini fridge for a soda. Forrest already had one in hand. His brown hair was a little damp from the sweat. He flipped it the the side, ou of his eyes. "That was sick." He said, butwith no enthusiasm. I just laughed because I know he's actually exausted. He's always the first to pass out on the bus, while me and Andre usually stay up late making stupid videos or surfing the internet. Out managers don't really like that we spend time on Facbook and Twitter, but even our parens understand that we're still teenagers. "I saw at least 10 of our tshirts in the front row tonght." Andre said while propped up in a lazy boy looking int a mirror. "Well yeah, they're nice. Even I want one." I joked. "Man, there was this one chick in the front. Red hair, like, damn she was-" "Forrest shut up." Andre cut him off before he could finish his sentence. "As far as you should be concerned, girls still have cooties." He added with a grin. Forrest mocked a fake laugh and punched Anre in the arm. "What's with you and redheads anyways?" I asked. "Dude, they're hot." Ws all he replied. I laughed. Just then one of our managers walked in. "Gotta admit, you boys never fail to impress." He said while clappinghis hands. "Obviously." Forrest agreed obnoxiously, while leaning on a counter drinking his coke. Forrest never really liked our producing and managing crew. He always felt like they wanted something from him, which they did. But we always have to remind him that if we want to get anywhere in this buisness, we gotta deal with people like them. "So I was talking to some people and I got a few strings pulled." Andre looked at hs guitar and I laughed at loud. The man just ignored me. "I got you a gig down in Florida. A sporting event, I thought you boys could use some sun." The man said, content with himself. "We've never done anything for athletes before. Could be fun." Andre said suspiciously winking at me. I just laughed and threw a crumpled napkin at him. "Yeah and I guess I could work on my tan." Forrest agreed, no doubt thinking about the sun and warm weather. "Alright, I'm down." I joined in. "Perfect. Pack more sunglasses boys, you'll need them." He said, mostly to Andre, remembering that he had lost his in the crowd tonight. "You leave tomorrow morning."

Yes! First comment! Woohoo! *coughs* um, sorry. We have this thing here on YWS where we all compete against being the first. Anyways, so, I see you're new here, hi! I'm Dragonet, but you can call me almost anything else, Drago, Dragon, Ette, or my favorite, Onet.

But anyways, about your story. I liked it, you introduced the characters really well and I like the opening. But every story can be improved.

Christina44 wrote:Most people could never feel what I#FF0000 ">'ve feel #FF0000 ">felt. Never see what I#FF0000 ">'ve see #FF0000 ">seen, and never experience what i've experienced. The bright lights are almost blinding, but i've gotten somewhat use to them by now.

Christina44 wrote:Most people could never feel what I feel. Never see what I see, and never experience what i've experienced. Thr bright lights are almost blinding, but i've gotten somewhat use to them by now. At least I can see the first few rows of screaming fans. Mostly the craziest girls take up the front row. I can only see them mouthing my name because the music is louder then all their voices put together. All I have to do is smile nd wink at them from under my dark brown bangs, and they scream like crazy. All I can do is laugh silently to myself and keep strumming my guitar. This baby never fails me. It's been going strong for a year now. 100+ concerts in 20+ states. She's my goodluck charm.

I look to center stage amd there's Forrest pleasing the crowd like usual. The ls have a thing for him too. He always has a way to make a girl weak in the knees. Although he's four years younger than me, at fourteen years old, my brother can drive any crowd crazy. His voice is his secret weapon. He can carry on an entire concert without cracking a single note. There's a reason why we put him in charge of lead vocals. He's definately a performer. He knows how to use a stage. You'll always see him climbing on things, making the crowd go nuts. Most boys his age would never dream of doing half the things Forrest does. He continues to get up in front of an audience, night after night, without a single ounce of fear in his body.

All the way at the far left of the stage is Andre strumming along with his bass. Unlike Forrest and I, Andre has the sense of humor. He can do anything to make the girls laugh. His blonde hair and shades get the ladies attention, then his jokes capture their heart. It's hard to make the fans laugh when Andre is there. It's kind of his forte. I get along with Andre more then Forrest because of the smaller age difference. Andre is only a year younger then I am. We can relate better. But the three of us rarely fight. Andre doesn't just lure in the seventeen year olds, but all the girls out there. They all fall for his blonde hair and never ending smile. He takes off his glasses revealing his green eyes, and the crowd errupts into wave of screaming. This sound is strangely familiar. It happends everytime we come on stange, almost like standing behind an airplane while it's reving up. Andre throws his glasses into the crowd as Forrest finishes the last word of the song. "How is evrybody doing tonight?" Forrest asks the crowd of sreaming fans. "Thanks for comming out! We love you all! Goodnight everybody!" The crowd cheers and whistles alost luder now because of the lack of music.

The lights fade and we find our way to the bkac of the stage in the dark. Big guys dressed in black lead us down the hall through these little tunnels until we get to a room that has "BURNHAM" written in the door in big writing. I handed my guitar to the stage manager and headed to th mini fridge for a soda. Forrest already had one in hand. His brown hair was a little damp from the sweat. He flipped it the the side, ou of his eyes. "That was sick." He said, butwith no enthusiasm. I just laughed because I know he's actually exausted. He's always the first to pass out on the bus, while me and Andre usually stay up late making stupid videos or surfing the internet. Out managers don't really like that we spend time on Facbook and Twitter, but even our parens understand that we're still teenagers.

"I saw at least 10 of our tshirts in the front row tonght." Andre said while propped up in a lazy boy looking int a mirror.

"Well yeah, they're nice. Even I want one." I joked. "Man, there was this one chick in the front. Red hair, like, damn she was-"

"Forrest shut up." Andre cut him off before he could finish his sentence. "As far as you should be concerned, girls still have cooties." He added with a grin. Forrest mocked a fake laugh and punched Anre in the arm.

"What's with you and redheads anyways?" I asked.

"Dude, they're hot." Ws all he replied. I laughed.

Just then one of our managers walked in. "Gotta admit, you boys never fail to impress." He said while clappinghis hands.

"Obviously." Forrest agreed obnoxiously, while leaning on a counter drinking his coke. Forrest never really liked our producing and managing crew. He always felt like they wanted something from him, which they did. But we always have to remind him that if we want to get anywhere in this buisness, we gotta deal with people like them.

"So I was talking to some people and I got a few strings pulled." Andre looked at hs guitar and I laughed at loud.

The man just ignored me. "I got you a gig down in Florida. A sporting event, I thought you boys could use some sun." The man said, content with himself.

"We've never done anything for athletes before. Could be fun." Andre said suspiciously winking at me. I just laughed and threw a crumpled napkin at him.

"Yeah and I guess I could work on my tan." Forrest agreed, no doubt thinking about the sun and warm weather.

"Alright, I'm down." I joined in.

"Perfect. Pack more sunglasses boys, you'll need them." He said, mostly to Andre, remembering that he had lost his in the crowd tonight. "You leave tomorrow morning."