Published January 26, 2012
She's the demon in my dreams,The one that seems so far,The one I feel I have to meet to find out who you are,Your eyes so blue so ocean clear,what I would only give to have you near,if only you appeared in front of my face you could close this gap and fill this space never before have I felt so certain that I have so badly wanted one person I know your out there and I know you're real I'll find you someday and your touch I will feel.
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Hello! I would have to disagree with the comment above ^^
It doesn't matter that it's short, poetry doesn't have to be long and I'm guessing these are lyrics and not stanzas. All the more reason to keep it short and straight to the point.
I think this is poetry, and you know that.
Very lyrical poetry, and maybe just space it out a little to show the rhythm a bit more.
But anyways, I loved this. It's pretty catchy to read and all that. I love the rhyming
I don't really have anything else to say, it's really good.
Hello! Alfred here for a comment on your post!
First and most important of all, I think you got this post wrong, kind sir. This is for poetry. And your work is technically not exactly poetry. It's more of a short story (a very very short one; it's possible). And you didn't actually put any quality of a poem into it, so it's clearly not one. Better put it somewhere else! Or better, edit it to make a story or an essay.
But I would like to tell you that it is a very good read! The words are precious and wonderful! It is possible to be edited to a poem. Just meter it, divide it into verses, shorten or lengthen each as long as you hide the thoughts you want to imply in figurative speech, then it's done!
Good luck writing, I hope this helps!
Your pal,
Al