*Starts to do cup song with goblet of fire*
I've got my ticket for the Hogwarts Express
Two butterbeers for the way
And I sure would like some familiar company
So, Ron and Hermione what do you say?
With my wand (with my wand)
With my wand (with my wand)
I’m doin’ magic with my wand
Lumos and Stupefy
Wingardium Leviosa makes things fly,
Oh, I’m doin’ magic with my wand
I've got my ticket for the Hogwarts Express
Always the prettiest of views
It's got hills and little rivers
It's got surprises to give you shivers (oh)
We’ll be at Hogwarts when it’s through
With my wand (with my wand)
With my wand (with my wand)
I’m doin’ magic with my wand
Mufflito, people can’t hear
Evanesco, things disappear
I’m doin’ magic with my wand
I've got my ticket for the Hogwarts Express
This train wasn’t made for muggle rides
Sure I'll ride it on my own
Because Hogwarts in my home
It’s where the fun and magic hides
With my wand (with my wand)
With my wand (with my wand)
I’m doin’ magic with my wand
Cristem Aperio, Colloportus,
Hexes, jinx', spells for us
I’m doin’ magic with my wand
With my wand (with my wand)
With my wand (with my wand)
I’m doin’ magic with my wand
So many spells to for us to use
Gosh, it’s just so hard to choose
Oh, I’m doin’ magic with my wand
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Oh my God, I nearly died laughing at this. Terrific! Great work!
I really like it! It's..........really nice and funny, and for some reason I don't know, nostalgic.
Just one thing I'd like to point out: you spelled one spell wrong. It's MUFFLIATO, not Mufflito.
Otherwise, AWESOME! Write some more!
Mysticalxx
Nice song, just to point out it says "Wingardium leviosa make things fly" and I'm not sure if you meant to say "makes". Nice song overall and good humor *thumbs up*
Whoops! Yeah, meant to say "makes". Thanks!
No review. Just three words. I want more.
Looooooooooooooooooooove it!
Hello there, ChocolateCello (I play the viola btw)! Welcome to YWS! cleverclogs here for a Review Day review!
This is great. Right from the beginning, it had me laughing. It's so innovative and clever. I'd love to see it actually set to music. A+ for humor!
There are a couple of things that should be capitalized that aren't. For instance,
"hogwart" should be capitalized (and it should also be "Hogwarts"). There are a couple more mistakes like this, but you can probably sort those out for yourself.
Overall, I really like the verses, but the chorus is a bit... dull. It's hard to say when it's not set to music, but as I'm reading it, it's bland and repetitive. A good chorus can be repetitive to some extent, but yours is a bit too repetitive. It's also very obvious. Of course you're doing magic with your wand. I wasn't expecting you to be doing it with a grapefruit.
I'm wondering why all the lines are a little distance away from the edge of the page. Is it a copy-paste error? It's a bit visually unappealing.
Other than the things I pointed out, I really liked this. You obviously have a gift for humor, and I'd love to see more from you in the future!
Thanks for the input! I'll try to change the chorus up a bit at some point. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Dear ChocolateCello,
I LOVE this song. I sang the whole thing. Not only do I love Pitch Perfect, I also love Harry Potter. This is just the perfect combination. It is a little rough and awkward is a few places (specifically where the spells come in) but overall it flows well for a parody. The only lyrical critique I'm going to give is in the last two lines. Don't use Oh, both times. In the original song they use Oh the second time so keep it there. My advice would be to use another exclamatory word, Like My, or Wow. Of course this is your song and you don't have to change any of it if you don't want to. As always keep writing.
-Incohesive Scribbles
XD This is awesome! Your last two lines need to be capitalized, but other than that, this is great! Sorry, I'm not great at lyric reviews. *shrugs* Keep it up!
~racket
Oh whoops! Crap, I suck when it comes to capitalization (Oh and commas as you know). Thanks!
Welcome!