First Taste

Ok, so this is an flash forward of something I've been working on. This is where I want to end up but I'm kind of stuck on how to get there. So I thought I'd post this on here to see what people thought of my style and ideas. Please I have a tough skin. You can be mean. I promise. Any kind of critique is important to me!

Oh and in case you get confused after the big gap it changes perspectives from Harley in the beginning to Henry at the end, and for anything else I've put a few explanations at the bottom of the text.

First Taste

He closed in. I could feel his almost warm breath on the base of my neck. My nerve endings were at attention, trying to drink it all in. (1)Henry’s black bangs fell gently against my skin like soft down feathers. As he lifted his face his hair fell into his eyes. He flicked them out of his face with a toss of his head; his now dull grey eyes peered up at me with an intense expression that was a strange combination of unbearable pain and uncontainable excitement. “Are you sure about this Harley?” He asked his supple, yet somehow still unyielding, lips touching the base of my neck ever so slightly I could almost think I’d imagined it.

I inhaled deeply, arching toward his touch. I want this, I chanted to myself. This will make me his. It only hurt for a moment. He promised. “Yes. I’m sure.” I told him with a firm nod.

“Are sure you’re sure, because I do this there is no going back. (2)Elemental or not, you’ll be mine for the rest of your natural life. I’ll be able to find you no matter how far you run. I’ll hear your every thought. You will be able to keep no secrets from me. In the vampire world you’ll be a little more than a meal or property. You will be tied to me for as long as I choose. You have no say in the matter. I will be able to bend you to my will if I choose. Not that I would. But I could. Vampires can only have one familiar at a time to prevent us from having an army of devoted donors, so you will be my only source of food until I choose otherwise. And that will be taxing on your system. The drainage will make you tired till your body recovers the blood I take. A blood exchange would make you a vampire. One drink of my blood after this would make you like me. You’d be unstoppable, an Elemental’s powers with a vampire’s strength, agility, immortality. You’d win (3)the once-a-twenty war for sure. You couldn’t be defeated. Not so easily at least. Do you realize the power you could wield, the fates you could change? You have no idea the strength it would take to avoid wanting that kind of power. You’d be practically untouchable. So are you sure you can do this, handle all that comes with it, the duties and the temptations?” Henry asked his voice grave, his grey eyes serious and his mostly hidden fangs elongating in anticipation. “Did I also mention the extreme sexual desire that goes hand in hand with bloodletting?” he asked trying to lighten the mood, after realizing what I had to be thinking, that I had to be rethinking the entire plan.

I looked away from him. I hadn’t thought this through very well, I realized. The ramifications this seemingly simple act could have were tremendous. I could be so powerful I could gain the revenge I craved. (4)The Lobos would pay dearly for what they’d done to my mother and my gang if I had that kind of power. I’d be with Henry forever, well the rest of my life. He’d be able to read my thoughts. We’d have no secrets. And I’d be recognized as his in the vampire community. Safe from all other vampires and those aligned with his Clan. “I’m sure. Make me yours,” I said with a firm nod and then exposing my neck to him.

He looked deep into my eyes for a moment with that same pained yet exuberant expression. I knew what he was thinking. He’d wanted to drink my blood for so long, said he longed for its taste, which he somehow knew would be amazing, but I also knew that he was terrified. Petrified of what the consequences of this action would do. He shut his eyes tightly for a moment his luxuriously long black eyelashes knitting together and let out a labored breath, “Dios! Lo siento. Te amo.” His whispered “I love you” and his apology to God was the last thing I heard before he gently kissed my neck and bit down, hard. And when Henry began to draw out my blood the whole world became electrified.

The burst of Harley’s blood into my mouth was an explosion of flavors. It was sweeter than any sugar of the earth; it was everything I had imagined…and more. I was full with the first drop, and yet all the more ravenous for that sweet nectar that just kept pouring from her artery. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew at some point I’d have to stop or I’d drain her past the point of no return. But my taste buds were completely ignoring that part of my brain. I’d waited so long for this taste. Why couldn’t I just enjoy it? My left hand was supporting the nape of her neck, my right holding her close to me by the small of her back. I could sense her growing weakness. Soon she’d begin to be light headed and dizzy.

It was that small sigh, just a breath really, that woke me up from my feeding frenzy. I stopped. Immediately. I pulled back and looked at her face. Harley’s eyes were lightly closed. She was smiling, like she was having a pleasant dream. I slowly ran my tongue over the bite mark to seal the wound. Ah. Wound. That was such an uncomfortable word to apply to what I’d just done. I hated that in my head I heard words like Sanguinarian being thrown around. I’d just feed off of the girl I loved and she looked happy about it. I had taken even more of what little mortality she had left.

I ran my hand slowly across her face tucking a small piece of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear. As I began to remove my hand from the warmth of her skin her eyes opened. I stared into her deep brown eyes searching for the hatred and fear I dreaded would come with the decision she had made to allow me to do this. But all I saw was her. All I saw was my Harley sitting there and staring back at me with the most peaceful smile I’d ever seen.

“Well…” she began softly, barely above a whisper, “That was fun.”

“Fun?” I inquired astounded at her use of the term “fun”.

“Yes, fun. It was by far the most interesting sensation I’ve ever experienced in my life,” Harley stated with an amused smile.

“Interesting how? I didn’t hurt you did I?” I asked concerned.

“Well when you first bit down that was a little uncomfortable, but that was it. The rest of it was like…..electricity in my veins. It was fire. It was ice. It was every nerve igniting in harmony at once,” she said with a pensive glance at my still exposed fangs.

I stared at her in utter amazement. I’d never heard that description of a vampire bite ever. Not from any vampires I knew anyways. Harlequin romance authors often portrayed vampirism as a sensual thing, but I’d never known a vampire familiar to share that notion.

Harley ran her fingers over my wrinkled brow. “Why so serious?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Nothing Harley.”

“Am I supposed to feel different?” She inquired of me.

“No. You’re still human. You just are different. My essence is now a part of you, albeit a small amount, but it’s in there. You’ll smell different to all of the Five. Angels will sense it, not smell it though. Angels are always a little different than the rest. They are the most ancient of us so they are naturally different. But all Vampires will recognize you as a vampire’s familiar and will sense that I am not a vampire to mess with and you will be left alone by all vampires and protected by all in the Silver Clan. The werewolves will hate you even more now. And I highly doubt your little shape shifter friend will be very happy about this,” I said with a sarcastic smile.

“Let’s not bring up (5)Jess. He’s gonna be really pissed at me. Wait…will (6)Uncle Tony be able to sense this?” She asked the panic in her voice rising.

“Didn’t you tell me he’s actually a shape shifter too?” I asked.

“Yes. He’s not my real uncle. My grand parents adopted him. My dad doesn’t even know. I’m full human, Tony is a shifter,” she said with a grave nod.

“Then he’ll know. The moment her sees…well…smells you…he’ll know. Just like Jess will,” I said seriously.

“Well that’s gonna be hard to explain since he said I was ‘never to see you again’” she said in a dark voice with air quotes.

“The price you pay for our love, mi amore,” I whispered in her ear as I buried my face in her neck and softly kissed her neck yet again, slowly traveling North toward her beautiful lips.

“Te queiro mucho, mi amore. Besa me por favor,” Harley slowly whispered back to me, her voice husky and almost sleepy with desire.

“I would love nothing more than to never stop kissing you, my love. So your wish is my command, I told her as I slowly, gently brushed my lips against hers, but that was not enough to sate what I felt in that moment. I silently prayed she’d take a deep breathe so I could kiss her so thoroughly she would never doubt she was mine. And she was. Mine. And I intended to claim my own.

1. Henry= an ancient vampire of the Silver Clan, who is involved with Harley.

2. Elemental= a rare person, born every twenty years, who can control all 5 elements

3. The Once-A-Twenty War= a war that happens every twenty year in which the current elemental is fought over and is always killed during.

4. The Lobos= Harley's gangs rival, were responsible for killing Harley's mom

5. Jess= Harley's childhood best friend, who happens to be a shape shifter

6. Uncle Tony= Harley thought this man was her uncle and chose to live with him after her mother was killed. Turned out to be a shape shifter also.