Whale Hunting
Looking out into the ocean I watch as the steady circular current flows into the bay and back into the ocean like a whirlpool. An Eddie forms in the center of the bay, where still motionless water sits patently as the current passes by. Itâs a sunny day and the waters are as busy as ever. Large whales swim in through the delta coming close to the shore before heading back out to sea. Everyone seems distracted by one another. Loud sounds pollute the spring air.
âYou just⦠Uhhhh ANNOY meâ
I seem to be the only one moved by the large beasts rolling by every minute.
âYouâre like a child, always telling stories and avoiding anything serious.Freshmen year I didnât mind, I thought it was funny, we all thought it was funny but now your almost 17 years old and you come to school every day with ink smeared all over your hands and you tell these senseless stories every time someone tries to have a decent conversation with you.â
They come every day at 3 oâclock, right at three oâclock. Usually Iâm busy, consumed by all the commotion happening on the shore, but today is different. I dig my feet into the sand and hold my wooden spear tightly.
âBy the way, we are all aware of your drug use, donât even try to tell me you quit. Ryan told Alex and Alex told Megan, Iâm pretty sure the whole school knows by nowâ
The sun, blazing down on my face, gives me a wink and I know Iâm ready. My choice is made; I see the white beast cursing through the current, its eyes resting on both sides of its massive body.
âYep, she hates you, I wouldnât blame her either, you two spent half the semester together and then you turn around and treat her the way you did.â
Sheer excitement fills my body; the spear leaves my hand with a twist and a thrust. The rope follows unraveling in the air stopping only once Iâve hit my target.
âIâm glad though, Iâm glad she finally realized youâre not the same person she met two years ago. Youâre just a cracked up junkie!â
The whale stops and drifts off into the still water. I grab the crank and begin to peddle my arms, but then unexpectedly⦠The most incredible thing happensâ¦
âYeah you sure are a lot of things, but I canât say any of them are good. I donât doubt it; someday youâll probably end up homeless.â
I am caught by its eyes; they are dimed candles that once hosted a burning flame. Something inside me becomes dimed as well, and water starts flooding into my heart. I know exactly what I want to do now.
âYour self possessed, God knows why, and you never listen. Are you even listening to me right now?.â
The wind seems to follow me as I pick up my body and jump right into the bay. I shiver in the brisk ocean water and swim past the current onto the dying beast. I feel life underneath its skin and I remove the spear that I had earlier cast upon it.
âWhat is he doing? Jumping in the middle of the pickup line like that ⦠He is going to get hit by a carâ
I let the spear follow the current until it was stopped by the rope. Lifting myself back onto the shore I look back and the whale is gone, so is the commotion. The screaming freshmen, the laughing sports teams and the excited parents have all floated back into the ocean. I am alone and silence massages my ears. I am tired and lies have torn at my skin all day. I need someone to talk to, so I tell the sky the truth and I am finally understoodâ¦
My wounds are licked and now I look deeply at my best friend. Undiluted and focused the sky looks back at me with his bright blue stare. Then I am certain that no Whale Hunt, led race, or parade in the dark can hurt me to the point of breaking. Not while the sky fortifies my every bone, ligament, and joint. The truth is power⦠power shared between the two of us, and only I can act on it.
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The story seems a little jumbled up. I completely understand where you are coming from though. Sometimes when we have sudden thoughts we tend to write them down in any crazy order. I think your impulse and confidence to share these instant thoughts is simply amazing!

Until the next...
Well I tried to leave spaces in-between the quotes and the description but I don%u2019t know how to do that on this website.
I don't have much to say about improvement. I did recognize something odd in the first sentence.I don't understand what "Whale Hunting Looking out into the ocean" means. Also I think there should be a comma in between Whale Hunting and Looking. Also I don't think looking should be capitalized. I didn't understand what you trying to do with that, so I won't say, much more about anyway.
I accidently wrote the title in the text box.
Hello Chipper,
I didn't understand, who were the two people arguing? Was it him and another person, or two other people nearby? That's where line breaks and better descriptions would help. Details are a very important key in writing any kind of story.

I had a really hard time following this story!
Line breaks help separate the people talking and the description. They also help differentiate who is talking.
Another thing I think this story needs is more paragraphs! Try making a new paragraph every time you want to switch focus on the story. So if you want to switch from describing the setting to describing the character then make a new paragraph. If you switch from describing one character to another make a new paragraph.
So basically. Line breaks, paragraphs, and details!
I hope this helps! I liked the story none-the-less.
Keep writing and welcome to YWS!
-Bunny Rabbit <3
Oh and meant to put large spaces in-between the quotes and the description but I didn’t know how to do that.
I accidently wrote the title in the text. Ignore the first two words in this story.