“My dear members,” began Nate, posting at the top of chat. “My dear global moderators and administrators, and my dear junior moderators and distinguished members…”
“POTATOES!” cried Sheytato, waving a potato in the air and typing with one hand. Saentiel glanced at her brother and sighed, going back to her keyboard.
“…Potatoes and storybookers and novelists, poets and short story writers, script writers and lyricists, clubbers and forum posters, bloggers and meme-posters, today is my ten and third birthday!”
There came resounding posts of “Hurray!” from all the YWSers as they jammed on their keyboards and touchscreens to type their replies before he started talking again.
“I hope you’ve all been enjoying yourselves as much as I have!”
The members cheered again, in text. Such a flurry of replies came that Nate had to forcefully boot them all out of the chat room before it broke. When everyone had reloaded the tab and reentered the chat room, Nate began again.
“I won’t keep you here long. I’ve called you all here for a reason. For two reasons!”
The mods were able to hold down chat and tell members to stop spamming while Nate continued.
“First is to say that I’m immensely fond of all of you. Ten and three years is too short a time to have spent with the Young Writers Society.”
The chat replies filled up, until some of the mods posted for silence.
“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. At least things aren’t too personal, after all, kids, remember internet safety.”
There came some posts consisting of “lol” and “XD” as people either understood or pretended they understood what was just said.
“Secondly, I’d like to celebrate our birthday! As you know, my dear assistant Big Brother shares this birthday with me. Together our age is twenty-six, a number that makes the “young” writers society sound “old”. Big Brother comes of age today, old enough to join the Young Writer’s society without parental supervision, if he wished.”
Here followed more clapping emojis and links to happy birthday GIFs. Suddenly, Nate almost appeared to log off for a second, then came back. The virtual clapping was still going on.
“Sorry, my internet is glitchy. I have now a third announcement, I am leaving. My internet keeps wanting to boot me off. This is what I get for using Internet Explorer. Eleven minutes is too short a time to spend with you, the members of Young Writer’s society. This is the END. I’m GOING. GTG, TTYL!”
With that, Nate’s name vanished from the memberlist on the side of the chat bar.