I was in my room
I looked in the mirror
There was a figure of a man
Tall with dark hair just like mine
He gave me a sad smile
I stared rather scared
The face was fading
I felt like a part of me was fading to
A tear shes down my cheek
I didnt move i just sat there
I miss you Dad come back to my mirror
Goodbye x
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
That was good
hmm it is small...won't be too much to say.
but you should give more description of the man, more of how it affects you and him, and the good bye at the end doesn't seem to fit too well =/.
and what was the room like ? giving more that, more than just saying it was a room.
describing the room can give a much better atmosphere and things.
and where was the mirror ? that too can have a significance.
and why were you fading ? where were you fading to ?
pm me if you need anything else... i know very abrupt =]... also keep writing.