Published March 10, 2010
Feel Better Soon!
I feel your pain,
And I know your name.
Your voice calls to me,
like a bird and a tree.
Please feel better soon,
like before the next moon.
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Canary word: Present
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140,826 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
It's simple and declarative, but in a unpleasing way
describe the bird and tree more!
why does that person's name mean so much?
answer that question in the poem, it would make it more interesting to have details.
'like before the next moon'
the 'like' makes the poem seem a little bit juvenile
I would say that simple poems are great, but only if the words are striking enough on their own, without detail.
Your words are not 'striking' enough.
Keep the simple style though, i enjoy that a lot!
good luck
Thanks!
i like the poem. Its quick and easily can be read and understood. Good job! keep it up!!