I thought the poem was absolutely exquisite, but the title doesn't really do it any justice. It's kinda long and wierd...but that's OK.
'i thought you were trapped in the past,
a fly in the amber of summer'- Great analogy. I would have never been able to think that one up...good job on that. I didn't catch the reference at first, but then I got it.
'your kisses painted me happy
your absence colors me gray'- These lines are really good, they're just kind of awkward when you first read them over. If you could maybe go over it and smooth them out some...then the poem would feel complete.
Overall, I thought you did a really good job on this poem. Nice, short, and to the point.
Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258
Donate