buried under hours
under stranger's kisses
under the skin deep true loves
i thought you were trapped in the past,
a fly in the amber of summer
yet memories of the bristle of your hair
against the tender skin under my ear
continure to gnaw at my heart
lying under the glare of a full sun
wind licking my neck
twisting though my hair
a cigarette loose in one hand
you tight in the other
the smell of skin assaulting my senses
pulling me closer to your collarbone
your jade eyes touch my shoulder,
the cracked skin on my fingertips,
the hairs on my arms
your kisses painted me happy
your absence colors me gray
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
I thought the poem was absolutely exquisite, but the title doesn't really do it any justice. It's kinda long and wierd...but that's OK.
'i thought you were trapped in the past,
a fly in the amber of summer'- Great analogy. I would have never been able to think that one up...good job on that. I didn't catch the reference at first, but then I got it.
'your kisses painted me happy
your absence colors me gray'- These lines are really good, they're just kind of awkward when you first read them over. If you could maybe go over it and smooth them out some...then the poem would feel complete.
Overall, I thought you did a really good job on this poem. Nice, short, and to the point.