Young Writers Society

I really like this poem. The description was really good and the ending was great. I have nothing to...critique actually. lol. It was awesome though. I liked the meaning of it all.

Keep it up!
~Rieda

I liked it!

Par the norm, I can only grasp and slightly clutch at the meaning ^_~ But in any case, it was beautifully written, and I could also visualize and imagine things, which is grand, because I don't always get that from your poetry.

Again, par the norm, I'm not sure what else to say. You rhyme in some places, so I'm not sure you have a scheme, exactly. I like the rhymes, and they don't stand out so much that it's annoying, so I'm almost half tempted not to complain about that. In any case: if you're going to rhyme, rhyme throughout. But--ah--I think you survive. So you are allowed to ignore the tip. ^_^

Overall I enjoyed this and felt that it was well written. For the first stanza, I'd suggest saying "in this journey" instead of "of". Maybe try "partaking in this journey" instead. I'm sorry, but I have absolutely no reason for this!
The first stanza is very good, and I like the laces metaphor.
I don't understand the signifigance of the quotation marks, so I'd eitehr clarify this, or scrap them, preferably the latter.
I think that the second stanza is a little too wordy. If it were to stay, I'd omit the word "down", and change "misperceiving" to something shorter and more straight forward. I'd also change "regarding" to "of" as this line is too long and flowery.
The next stanza was fine, as were the next three. I wouldn't capitalise the "f" in "fortune", unless you were to omit "my" as otherwise there is no need to personify it.
It was a good write, and an enjoyable read, which just needs a bit of extra polish.