Published May 9, 2010
There once was a cat that was so fat with enlightenment that his belly would touch the ground as he walked. Some knew him as Oliver, but all knew him as Buddha Cat.
Buddha Cat was a wanderer. He traveled across the land known as House, visiting distant regions such as Connor’s Couch and the Giant Ottoman. On these visits he would lay himself out on a spot he thought worthy, and would display his girth to all who passed by. It was impossible to not notice Buddha Cat’s immense shape in the distance; like a planet eclipsing the sun. It is said that once Buddha Cat used his tremendous gut to take advantage of Newton’s first law of motion and flung himself across the sky to land delicately atop the unexplored highlands known as the Kitchen Counter. What he did up there is a mystery. However, it is believed by his followers that once Buddha Cat had ascended the Kitchen Counter, he would make his way to the legendary Bowl of Enlightenment and dine on its contents, thus replenishing his sacred, gargantuan stomach and his teachings of enlightenment and universal peace.
Buddha Cat was a cat whose Zen could not be broken. No matter how extreme the disruption, nothing could penetrate Buddha Cat’s barrier of inner peace and tranquility. His head has been repeatedly chewed upon by the jaws of larger beasts, who in doing so were attempting to leech off of Buddha Cat’s enlightened spirit. He has been pushed from his perch many times by the Higher Ones, those who rule the vast land of House. Many times has he stumbled and fallen not by the force of others but, in fact, has done so through his own clumsiness. Despite the fact that he had suffered much duress, his disposition remained unbreakable. He would always respond to problems by positioning himself in the Pose of the Enlightened One, which was done by laying flat on his stomach, allowing his almighty flab to absorb all of his limbs until he retained a uniform, circular shape. From this pose, he would chant his mantra, “Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,” over and over again, and would irradiate pure, peaceful energy from his belly. Everything surrounding him would immediately become tranquil; all violence would cease, all negativity would vanish, and a Higher One would undoubtedly arrive to perform the sacred art of scratching behind the ears of Buddha Cat. This, of course, would increase the peaceful aura that would be emanating from Buddha Cat.
Today, thousands of years after the Buddha Cat sat upon the earth we stand on, his spirit of tranquility and inner peace lives on. The followers of Buddha Cat, known as the Oliverists, have constructed numerous temples and shrines all around the universe. At these temples, the Oliverists will meditate and reflect upon the workings of their internal peacefulness by assuming the Pose of the Enlightened One, tucking all of their limbs under their fat bellies and lying on their stomachs while purring for at least three hours. Another accepted pose is lying on one’s side while allowing their gut to make itself noticeable, while purring. This is also done for about three hours. Aside from that, Oliverists are only allowed to eat an exotic food known as Meow Mix, which they believe was consumed by the Buddha cat himself centuries ago.
Buddha Cat has left his mark - rather, his indentation – upon the world with his teachings of enlightenment, which for reasons still unknown today were never actually recorded nor documented. His ways of lying about all day, reflecting on the ways of the spirit and the universe, are mirrored by our own actions of lying about on our couch all day on weekends and vacation. Whenever you see someone who has a noticeably large gut, show them honor and respect, for they, like Buddha cat, are on the true path to enlightenment.
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139,496 Literary Works • 672,585 Reviews
I really loved this! This made me smile at so many parts, and I was completely drawn in on the first sentence. It reminds me so much of MY cat
. I personally wouldn’t change a thing about this. Your words are simple and perfectly descriptive; you have a great vocabulary! I can't wait to see more of your work 
Wow, and all this time I just thought my cat was lazy...I didn't know that he was actually on a path to enlightenment!
This was really funny, and I loved your descriptions; they're incredibly creative and I was laughing through the whole thing.
Love it! Fat Cat... Hilarity Ensues.
Hi Chal
Alright well first off I'm not one-hundred percent sure what to think of your story Buddha Cat. After I had finished the first paragraph I was intrigued and I felt like I was in for something. I also felt there may be some symbolism and multiple layers. I was wrong. The problem with this story is simple. It's simple. There isn't even much of a short story hear its more of a ramble about a cat and it seems like you wrote it too quick without putting much thought in the plot section. Now being at age 17 I know you've written various papers of various lengths and I know you can write something with more story and content. This is more of an intro for a short story and even though the character is a good one you need a story to make your readers interested in the fat cat. Keep on writing man! One of your strong points was definitely creativity. If you can come up with some of things you mentioned and put them into story form it would be excellent. Also by reading this I can tell you've had past experience writing, so keep it up.
Okay, I really, really loved this! It was cute, clever, and very funny! I enjoyed it all the more since I've recently been learning about Buddhism. ^^ My favorite part definitely had to be when you described the "Pose of the Enlightened One." I just found that bit a little funnier than the rest, but I loved it all! Fantastic job!
Glad you guys enjoyed it!
Also, KD, muchos gracias for your lovely review.
Hey Chal, welcome to YWS. I'm KD, an' I'll be your reviewer today!
Great start! Love the imagery. Do you mean 'Some knew him as Oliver, but most knew him as Buddha Cat.'?I'll review this story piece by piece.
Lol, this is cute.
Def. of 'ascended'=1. To go or move upward; rise. You mean 'descended', don't you? There's some strange tense problems going on in this paragraph. This is a bit confusing- he only jumped onto the counter top then back down to eat only once? That is at least what it sounds like.
Tense problem. Apparently he is still alive? No, I thought not. Don't you mean 'he was pushed'? And do you mean 'those who had ruled'?
Tense problems.
Tense problem! I'm glad that you don't directly state who the Oliverists are, the Higher Ones, etc. Stating who they are would weaken this story. I wish you could also describe what these 'temples' look like. That would help.
Bravo! Encore! Great ending. I love how this story's--may I say--message!
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Great job, this piece is hilarious yet cute. As I said, love the perspective! Just watch out for your tenses, and in my opinion, this will be perfect.
Keep up the good work, hope I helped!
~KD
Wow. I really like this. You had me hooked from the very first line. It put a smile on my face, and I laughed out loud at the part about his mantra, "Rrrrrrrrrrrr". I also love the way you turned the house into an exotic land of wonder. This story reminded me of my own cats, and made me want to meet Buddha Cat in person.
I thought the whole thing was clever, imaginative, and well thought out. This is great on its own, but I would definitely read more if you chose to continue.
More to come, possibly.
So, some follow-up info: This story was inspired by my cat, Oliver, who is, as the story implies, very fat. Most of the jokes made in this story are jokes my family and I came up with in the past. He's not really dead, like he is in the story. He is still quite alive and quite bulbous in shape.