They pushed me so far
Away from my sanity
Now my soul is marred
Struggling endlessly
Listen to my heartbeat
You'll never understand
I am standing on my feet
In a far away land
It is cold in here
And I am not happy
In here there's no fear
Still I am weary
I tried to cry a river
It resulted to a sea
Darkness made me shiver
Though hard, I try to see
To be in love falsely
To be deserted in adoration
You have to live quietly
For you have no right to question
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140,181 Literary Works • 673,037 Reviews
Hey there! This really is my last review of the Review Day. I think.
I liked this, it's good writing, it's simple, it's easy to read and easy to understand.
However, it isn't all that unique. I think some of this really reflects your voice and sounds different and interesting, but there are some parts that sound just like a lot of other not so good poetry. So, while you have a good poem, it isn't great, but I think you could make it great. TO do that you should try and add more concrete imagery. Give us pictures that will stay in our minds, since a lot of words won't stick. But pictures will. Emotions will. You do a good job with adding emotion to the piece, so I guess all you need is more pictures.
I don't think I have anything else to say, but before I go I must say that my favorite lines were:
"I tried to cry a river
It resulted to a sea "
The lines are a tiny bit awkward to say- they don't flow all that well- but I really like them anyway. I love the idea that the narrator WANTED to cry a river, or at least told himself/herself that she/he did, and yet the tears didn't stop coming one they started. So true, and so beautifully and eloquently worded.
Nice job! Keep writing!
Doctor here to cure your case of the Plague, its very serious you see, you might die at any moment.
You see your punctuation has some bad illness... infact it seems to have vanished completely. that poor punctuation has run away because its afraid of contracting the virus, perhaps you should get some more. Lets give you an example.
Oh it also seems that stanzas like to be separated, you see you have some nice rhymes here, so maybe if you organize them into stanzas their boils might be cured.
also here
Do you mean resulted in a sea?
Good job, keep writing buddy, and it seems that you are all well. Must have been a mistake, maybe its your neighbour who has the plague.
Hmm, K here to review! I hope this is helpful!
First, your strengths. This was a good poem, and you stuck to ONE theme throughout it, which is always a super good strength. Another strength is your word choice, at least for the main parts of the poem. You use beautiful words of different lengths, which give the reader full visualization with what you're trying to convey.
Second, things you might want to consider changing, or implementing for your next poem. Stanzas would probably help a lot here, if you separated every four lines I think it would help this poem a lot! And as stated in previous reviews, adding punctuation is always a good thing. It helps if you take away all the line breaks and read it as a story to add punctuation. Then, return the line breaks and add stanzas. Those little things would help the reader a lot and make the poem so, so much better. Next, I want to focus on your rhyming. There could be a lot of improvement here. Some of the rhyming seemed a little forced, and the rhyming that seemed to come naturally didn't necessarily rhyme. I had to look really hard and sound the words out to get the rhyme- which ultimately took away from the poem. However, I think if you made the poem up with lines that only kind of rhymed, it would be very unique and fun to read!
Overall, I really liked it and I hope you keep writing!
Thank You so Much for reviewing!
1. Stanzas - God! I forgot my stanzas! 2. Punctuation - I see. The poem was kinda rushed but I'll work on that. 
3. Rhyming - I'll work harder with this section next time but good first try isn't it? 
Again, thanks K! I'll do better next time.
Hi there!
Alright, so I don't usually review poetry because I don't really understand everything about it and I don't want to criticize anyone on something where I don't know what I'm talking about. But I figured I'd at least stop by and give you my impression of this.
Overall, I think this is a pretty good poem. I see no problems with the form, although usually I see poetry in stanzas with a certain number of lines in each. I do know enough about poetry though that there's something called a free form poem where the poet can do whatever they want when it comes to format. So that's what you have here.
One little thing I'd like to point out is that there is no punctuation in this poem. You have one comma in the entire piece, in this sentence:
That works well because it gives the reader directions on how to read the poem. After all the poems and poem reviews I've read over the years, I do know well enough that poetry needs to have punctuation in order to help the reader read the poem as the author intended it to be. In your poem, without the punctuation it's just a bunch of words strung together. There is really no direction and I feel like it's a bit rushed. So my one suggestion to you is to go back and find a few places to put periods or commas or dashes just to control the flow and such.
Like I said before, I enjoyed reading this poem. I hope this review was at least a little helpful.
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
"Listen to my heartbeat
You'll never understand
I am standing on my feet
In a far away land"
These were my favourite lines because I think they are the heart of this poem. More punctuation marks would be nice. Overall its a lovely poem and i really like the rhyming. It makes the poem flow.