Published October 23, 2009
What is love? We give it to others and others give it to us. But after years of loving, that single person will rip out your heart with only three words. Those words are I hate you.
You will be heartbroken, or the person who you told it to will be heartbroken as well. No one will listen as you plead for help. They will just stare at you as if this happens every day. And it does.
But love is not only bad, it also has good powers. It can make you laugh, kiss, and have a great time. It can also make you cry, scream, or just get mad at the whole world.
And that, is love.
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140,499 Literary Works • 673,255 Reviews
This side of love is very intriguing, it shows a different point of view. It was shocking how powerful it was and the amount of emotion was enveloped in it. I think that there would be more flow to it if you put in stanza's. You could definitely base a story or even just lengthen this poem. It was breathtaking.
That was a touching poem.
great poem thought it expressed great emotion and had great flow
Alrighty, I'm here Cassie. Okay. Well as someone previously stated, poems are written in lines. That may have been just from the way you posted it in here, but it should look like:
Okay. This was definitely powerful. And I love how you focused on the negative, but then traded to the positive. It flowed. Very nicely. Also, when written the way I showed you, the first letter is always capitalized in each line. Just saying. Again, I'm not a poet so I do not have any criticism for you. I did enjoy reading this.
-Jayleigh
This is what I call small but mighty! Totally thought provoking.
I was particularly pleasantly surprised by the fact that it didn't have any unnecessary dreaminess. Sometimes poems are like that and they lose their appeal. I also like the fact that you didn't seem to be making any effort to make ryhmes with words. Trust me it ahs a rythm of its own.
I must agree with the correction on the way you wrote it though. It really doesn't make it look good. I'm learning that structure affects our writing more than we know. So I think it will be wise to work on that.
Happy writing.
Hi, Cassie.
I like the idea behind your poetry. Most people don't write about that side of love.
After years of loving,
A person will rip out your heart.
With only three words.
I hate you.
Instead of sentences and paragraphs, poetry is written in lines and stanzas. The lines are usually about the same length, creating rhythm, whereas some of your lines are much longer than the rest.
--McMourning