Published June 15, 2015
There are some things that cannot be. They say you and I are one of those things.
They say that we can’t be together, that it would be foolish to even try. They say that nothing can become of us, that the dreams we hold will never become reality. To them, we will be eternally stuck in our little world of make believe.
We are too different. We come from two different worlds that should have nothing in common. It is wrong for us to even associate with each other. The looks sent our way are full of disgust and I know what lies behind the whispers they try to cover with their hands.
When they do speak to us, there is an edge to their voices, a tone that says they know so much better. They tell us how we should live our lives, who we should live it with.
“What are you doing with her?” they say. “She’s nothing.”
“You think you’re good enough for him?” they say. “He could do so much better than you.”
But despite their harsh words and their judgements still we meet. And still we steal those little moments in time and make them our own, to hold and forever remember. And even when that time has passed, and we have given in to their demands, turning the other way when we meet on the long road we call life, we will still have those moments to cherish.
We keep those moments close to our hearts so that we will never forget them. We hold on to the hope that perhaps a time will come when their words and bitter stares will mean nothing. But now is not that time. Now we only have those small moments we briefly shared at a time now far away. Now we sit and wait with those glowing moments in our hands, waiting.
But there will always be things that cannot be. Unfortunately, we are one of them.
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140,869 Literary Works • 673,696 Reviews
This story reflects societal pressures and demands. The message you might have tried to portray has reached me. I think that this piece mostly highlights the fact that differences shouldn’t matter to us. If two people are in love, believe in and fight for their relationship, we should leave them be. It’s quite heartbreaking to see that the characters have been influenced by the thoughts of people around them. It’s a short piece, yet very effective. I enjoyed reading it, and haven’t seen any mistakes/errors. Well done, and keep writing!
CaylleenTheElf,
EccentricRose is here to review your awesome story! First off, I like the title. I was scrolling down the list of stories and this one attracted my attention the moment I saw it.
What I noticed about this story, is it flows very well. As I was reading it, I was almost reading it sing song-ingly; like as if it's a poem. It was very beautiful.
I couldn't find anything wrong with it; sorry I couldn't be of better help in that regard. But hey, that's a good sign right? That a reviewer found no faults in your writing?
This is my favorite line:
Keep up the good work!
~Rose
Hey I am here for a review.I hope all is well. Okay let's get started!!!!!
I really like the vagueness in this story. As in like no names whatsoever, just pronouns and stuff like that. That's really good!Did you base this story of me? haha cause it totally sounds like the things I have recently been through. Like you brought on some of my memories. Not saying the memories are good, but the way you just like got me to think about them is spectacular.
Honestly you do not need to change like anything. Except what the reviewer before me (boundless97) said before me.But other than that, you write really well!
Have a nice day and I hope to read more from you :3
Hi! there CaylleenTheElf
^This lines sums up everything. I like it because the general idea was expounded and brought us to the specific ones. The examples on the next sentences were heartfelt and painful. Hence, those are what most couples bear and live through. Being judged without knowing the story behind their love.
^Yet, I was fascinated by those lines. Because despite of what everyone thinks and says you remain optimistic and hopeful that one day it would all be okay. Not today but eventually.
It portrayed the feeling of not being accepted and looked down but then hoping that everything will be alright. I enjoyed reading this. Keep it up.
>Cha
I liked this story! It's short and sweet- I felt that it was well executed for such a short story. The vagueness (lack of names, referring to society as a whole instead of a single character or two) was easy to relate to real life. I could definitely feel myself drawing comparisons to people I have met and experiences I have had.
My only suggestion is centered around this sentence: "And still we steal those little moments in time and make them our own, to hold and forever remember." My English teacher always taught me that commas could be related to "and" and semi colons could be used to relate to "furthermore." In this sentence, I would probably use a semi colon instead of a comma.
I really enjoyed this! Good job and thanks for the good read