Published November 6, 2007
This is a poem that i am thinking about showing at our team banquet. Our season is almost over and this is the seniors last year. If you have any advice i would love to hear it because i want this poem to be perfect!!
This Team is our family
Our captains are our parents
All of us are sisters.
We fight together
hate together
and celebrate together.
Never forget this season
and the team that we are.
Never forget the reason
why we got this far.
We are a family and thats why we succeed
We are a family and thats why we never give in
We are a family and thats why we will win
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I liked it! Short, sweet, and to the point. Also, there was next to no awkward rhymes, which can ruin a poem. I noticed, though, that the rhyme scheme was irregular and that effects the way it flows. The first line kind of sounds like a second verse if you know what I mean. It seems like there was supposed to be something before it. I don't know, maybe I'm hallucinating? At any rate, that's all I can think of. Good job!