Published July 2, 2011
Don't sulk now, your job is not the worst
This guy leaves at bizarre hours, lives to unearth
with his shovel he lets the useless morsels disperse
until the hollow fits the precious that it's worth
In the dark amidst the dead the gravedigger works
singing a requiem, neglecting those who lurks
His cigarette burns as the cold wind blows
As if someone's curious, these drifting souls
far in the blackness, where no one knows
where nothing breathes where moonlight glows
On the foggy hill the gravedigger sighs
at the sight of the victim without goodbye
Dragging the thing, "oh the last thing to do"
but he never asks why, or "what happened to you?"
for no one asked him what he had gone through
although he's the only one who hears it coo,
Forgotten and gone, like the existence of fairies
the last thing to do, the gravedigger buries
just so you know, why his job is harsh and scary-
this gravedigger has to bury memories.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,792 Literary Works • 672,769 Reviews
This poem is morbid, but amazing at the same time. The description in your lines really captured my attention and the story really makes you think.
I love the tone of this poem: it's really cold and...cold. (Excuse me for my lack of words right now.) I like the rhyming scheme and the two couplets.
A few things to edit:
That's all. I like it! Keep writing
This is really good. Just one thing--it seemed to sort of become less abstract and more straightforward in the end. The use of the word scary, for instance...I love the last line, but maybe you could try to find a different word instead of scary.
But it's really interesting. I'm guessing this is written about a gravedigger way back in the day when most funerals weren't so formal as they are today?
It's excellent. Mournful and abstract. :] i love it.