Published January 30, 2012
Deafening silnce
hangs in the air
Quiet!
They'll hear us!
Thundering
the sound of solitude
The dark
is approaching
Quiet!
How are we to
make a plan
in the black
of this cellar?!
Why
Do you
lie?
Karma!
Karma!
The truth
of a thousand
of your lies
will haunt us
for an enternity of an eternity!
Quiet!
The silence
is roaring in my
ears.
Death
is coming.
Death.
While we cower in the corner
with the cobwebs.
Death.
There is no escape.
No window
in the underground.
There is no
ember
that lights the way
Death
with his scythe
Coming
to reap our souls.
Guilty
by association!
Death
by friendship!
But there is a door
To delay
There is a gun
in the corner
And you are dead
before Death can
claim you
Enjoy your visit my friend,
while Death comes to me.
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Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
(This is my first review, so I apologize if there's some accepted method that I've not adhered to.)
I really do like this piece. I find that the use of variable colour and text size/font could easily be distracting, but in this case works very well, and feels in-keeping with the theme and almost stream-of-consciousness style of the poem.
The use of language and emphasis on keywords and idioms really helps drive home the meaning behind the words, as it were. If I were to make one criticism, it would be that I find the size of the word 'door' to be a little distracting, breaking the immersion slightly. It's the once instance where the emphasis-by-typeface falls a little flat.
Otherwise, however, I love this. Great work, in my opinion!