Published August 29, 2006
i exist within the feelings that cant be expressed,
spoken,
utterd,
articulated
Bbecause of this incessent blundering that comes when
youre thoudts are the only thing(s) that makes cents
to anyone but yourself--
shit!
i ment noyone but me--
it is more then lower concentrations of
biochemical and genetic markers,
that cauzes my brane to lie to itself.
damn this insensitive,
thoughtless,
pittiless
medical bullshit that labls
my words as meaningful(less) until
they come out of my mouth,
faltering
awnd
sthammering,
s-s-stuttering
successin of slip-ups
that compelz me too question? the authenticity
behind the meaning--
must,
cannot lie in the succession--
arrangement
of the words
but in the sentiment itself
(confused?)
"the dour ink glares back in mockery
as it lauhgs cruelly in words
you will never understand."
p.s -work in progress-
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Canary word: Present
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,516 Reviews
The way you have to work out what the hidden message spells takes some time and you have to work it out and separate the words--- this reminds me of my friend who's dyslexic when she's reading.
Desired effect?
People have commented about not gettng it, but I think that was kind of the point. I don't know much about dyslexia, but I think it's basically when the dyslexic person sees words wrong and thinks they're right, or vice versa. The muddled-up style of the poem worked very nicely with the topic, so in my opinion, bravo!
This is an effective poem, I like the style it's written in and it does make you think. Of course, it takes a while to understand, but that helps add to the effect. Nice work.
great topic!
I like this. My mum is dyslexic and this is a true example of it!
Keep up the good word.
But maybe change the "list" at the beginning it kinda puts me off reading the rest. lexy x
Wow...that was really cool. It was really creative to do that, and I liked how it got more mixed up in the end. Some of it was a little awkward, but I really liked this poem.
I love it. Espically the "hidden" message in holds. My little sister is dyslexic (sp) so I can relate to what you are saying. Growing up with her, she taught me a lot.
I like this poem; I have a friend with dyslexia and it sounds almost exactly what he tries to tell me sometimes. Where is that quote at the end from?
What I wanted to convey with this poem is confusion and chaos (i.e. dyslexia)...therefore I wanted no particular sense or order at all (but I aimed to have it at least somewhat legible) This is exactly how I want it. If you are wondering, the bold letters will spell out:
"The words I long to say lie in what I cannot say"
I thought about incorporating it a little more discreetly..but it was late and I was lazy. Anyways, hope you understand a little better where I am coming from. Cheers.
Oh I get it! Dyslyxia, right. Whoa, now that I'm thinking straight, I believe this is an accomplishment. I still think you could brush up some of the phrases, though. The list-thing is a bit dull in the beginning, too, so my suggestion would be to cross it out.
Okay, I think the reason why people aren't commenting on this is that:
1) We see that there's a hidden message. Personally, I don't get it.
2) the poem on it's own...doesn't make much sense.
Perhaps when it's all cleaned up it will be more coherent?