Better To Have Loved and Lost

Well, Calli, I'm here. Before I begin, know that a) I've reviewed one poem on YWS since I've been here b) the thought of reviewing poetry gives me the chills c) my favorite poet so far is Stephen Crane and d) I'm just not a poetry person. This review is heavily subjective. There's barely anything subjective about fiction, and so poetry is all subjective-land unless there's a structure to go on. See point d, though, I'm not a poetry person. The best I can therefore give is my opinion.

I'd say to consider your objective here and how you can best accomplish that objective. It seems to me that the speaker is putting out his/her reasons for not wanting to love, trying to convince the reader of the sense in his/her argument. How much of this speaker is you is up to you. If you wanted, you could write the poem from a speaker who's all for to have loved being better than to have lost, and make it clear through whatever forms you chose that you disagree, etc, or leave the reader to contemplate whether the narrator's right.

You could also work with not just the arguments for the position, but the way you express them, having whatever fun with langauge you want in the mission to convince the reader.

Or maybe you don't want to convince the reader that it's better not to have loved than to have loved and lost. Maybe you're really up for expressing the emotions of someone who would think such a thing, the emotions and the personality and the character.

It's possible that I'm reading too much into things, and you just wanted to express your opinion on a matter, because people do like to spit out these phrases, even when losing is awful. That's another angle too, I guess. But, right, me taking it too far... well, that's what years of AP English do to you.

I think my overall point is that this poem didn't really grab me, but I wish it had. I think the reason it didn't grab me has nothing to do with whether I agree or disagree, but with this objective thing and the execution of it. My inner Expressionism/Surrealism-lover wants the emotion of the speaker. My Naturalist likes the plain language, but the part of me that can't stand Dickenson and Frost is bored.

So, I guess my only advice really is to think of your objective, or, even better, the effect you want this to have, and gone for it. Work toward that effect.

With luck and a miracle, you can get something out of that mess of a review. But I warned you, I'm awful with poetry!

Rach

I really enjoyed the first stanza and I thought you made a really interesting point. I wasn't as keen on the second stanza though because I thought the rythm of it and the rhyming scheme seemed to get a little lost.
Still, a really interesting and insightful poem overall. I particularly liked the line "I see happy couples, yes, but I see broken ones too."

Thank you BlueAfrica for telling me something I can improve on! When you said this I went back and looked at a few of the poems I have written recently, and I was surprised at how many of them lacked even a bit of imagery. I might not be able to rewrite this, I will try though. If I can't I am going to keep imagery in mind for my next poem! Thank you to all the other reviewers too, but I would like to know about things you didn't like as well.

Thanks again,

Calli

Hi there!

Great rhythm, first of all, and good message... Really "to have loved and lost" is only better if later on you get another chance at love that does not leave you in a state of loss. But I can't say that "never have loved" is any better, to be honest.

Anyway, like I said, you've got great rhythm, but there is one thing I would offer for improvement, which is: Imagery! Figurative language! You've got hardly any of these, and they are really what make a poem. I hate to make you screw up your rhythm, though...but still, see if you can work any of these in here. If not, okay.

~Blue

Hi there!
This is one of my favorite poems now!! I know many people have this same opinion but they do not know how to put it into words, (I've tried.. and failed.. repeatedly) something you have done perfectly within this poem. Good job!!
~chezka<3

Lol! Calligraphy, hi there!

I love this subject! Very nice point you've got there. xD I'm sure lots of girls understand what you're talking about... I do! *grins* But seriously, I love how you wrote it, makes the reader feel like he/she is a close friend, makes us feel comfortable and like at home. I like how your information and your point of view about love was brief, but at the same time you didn't leave anything hanging. Great job!

Keep writing!

~Solly<3

That was very nice, and i completely agree with it You're a really good writer, goodjob.