I sit again
in this
cold and
sullen
world.
I can't
tell you how
long I've
waited to
run,
but I'm
stuck in this
hell of
worries and
pain.
The emotional
pain has eaten
some more
and my soul is
falling into
the deep
dark abyss.
I can try
to get
out,
but is my
hope even
enough?
I finally hit
a pillar of
light.
Or am I
dreaming?
My eyes light
up with
the smile of
Him.
He who has
buoyed me
up and taken
me in.
I am finally safe
in God's loving
arms.
Carefree from
this world.
No more trial
or harm.
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140,304 Literary Works • 673,080 Reviews
I don't really understand how God could save you from a class.
But haveing said that I'm pessimistic.
It had good imagery though.
Hi there, my dearest poet.
I thought that your poem had a very interesting structure and metre. It was refreshing to read a poem that was a little different. The theme of course was very conventional, if a little cliched and "rinsed". However! The clever way in which you presented your poem, rejuvenated the tired subject matter; which truly mad the topic yours.
I felt that your choice of vocabulary was a trifle weak, and overly pedestrian. Even though your narrator is meant to be a regular person, the odd introduction of sensory vocabulary would really make all the difference to the mood that your poem creates.
Other than that, this poem is lovely. I really do look forward to reading more of your work in future, I think that you have an awful lot of potential within you.
Very well done, and best of luck.
Love
Kris
x