Young Writers Society

Hey there,

I'm here to leave you a review on your true masterpiece.

First of all I really love that this poem speaks about fate and life. It talks about truth and truth only. Hit's really deep and leaves marks.

Me encanta

Give me a chance

I would say amazing start off! Your starting with a boomer that hits you right in the heart, someone asking for mercy, a new chance, a new life.

Give me a chance, my destiny

I'm tired of the lack of color.

The emotion that your words carry is very visible and I love the words "destiny" in there.

He created it with a desire for attention

I'm asking you for fairy tales.

You don't know that I'm always in pain

Every day I think about it without saying it.

This is sooo true. Life throws us in deep ravines and expects us to climb out the same day. At night we dream of butterfly's, fairies, and magic sprinkles, but nohhh. Real life, is a mean nightmare that slaps you in the face if you didn't see something coming. This stanza supports my statements. Why can't we have all the good things in life for a second and forget the evil and bad stuff?

Sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I'm grateful

I am asking without hesitation.

People are never grateful, sometime they will ask for a yellow hat and they'll buy it. The next day they'll toss in the the corner of their bedroom and the month after that in the trash, because they want a purple one now. Why can't we be grateful for the little things? And take the time to appreciate them? I mean, look at the little flowers for example. WE should be happy there are flowers, you know how dull life would be without something to smile at.

Unquenchable hope, only good dreams

It surrounds and protects everything

If it loses its protection

My life, my dream will end immediately

Very sweet and thoughtful ending! I really like reading this poem, it made me question a lot of my life choices, I'm happy I came by it. Your use of words is very nice and diligent, and I'd like to point out that you did a great job even though everything doesn't rhyme. But who cares, right? Poems don't have to rhyme to be poems. It just has to be from your heart. <333

Have a nice day/ night further on!

- Rinisha

Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!

This poem is very raw and powerful. The speaker is desperately pleading, possibly to God, to make their life less unbearable.

He created it with a desire for attention

I'm asking you for fairy tales.

It can especially be seen in this line. The speaker “asking for fairy tales” means that they are asking for their life to be magical and perfect, like a fairytale.

however, I was a bit confused by these lines:

It surrounds and protects everything

If it loses its protection

My life, my dream will end immediately

What is “it” in these lines? Is it “unquenchable hope?” Is it the speaker’s life? I’m not quite sure.

Keep up the good work!

—GengarIsBestBoy