Give me a chance
Give me a chance, my destiny
I'm tired of the lack of color.
He created it with a desire for attention
I'm asking you for fairy tales.
You don't know that I'm always in pain
Every day I think about it without saying it.
Sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I'm grateful
I am asking without hesitation.
Unquenchable hope, only good dreams
It surrounds and protects everything
If it loses its protection
My life, my dream will end immediately
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
Hey there,
I'm here to leave you a review on your true masterpiece.
First of all I really love that this poem speaks about fate and life. It talks about truth and truth only. Hit's really deep and leaves marks.
Me encanta
I would say amazing start off! Your starting with a boomer that hits you right in the heart, someone asking for mercy, a new chance, a new life.
The emotion that your words carry is very visible and I love the words "destiny" in there.
This is sooo true. Life throws us in deep ravines and expects us to climb out the same day. At night we dream of butterfly's, fairies, and magic sprinkles, but nohhh. Real life, is a mean nightmare that slaps you in the face if you didn't see something coming. This stanza supports my statements. Why can't we have all the good things in life for a second and forget the evil and bad stuff?
People are never grateful, sometime they will ask for a yellow hat and they'll buy it. The next day they'll toss in the the corner of their bedroom and the month after that in the trash, because they want a purple one now. Why can't we be grateful for the little things? And take the time to appreciate them? I mean, look at the little flowers for example. WE should be happy there are flowers, you know how dull life would be without something to smile at.
Very sweet and thoughtful ending! I really like reading this poem, it made me question a lot of my life choices, I'm happy I came by it. Your use of words is very nice and diligent, and I'd like to point out that you did a great job even though everything doesn't rhyme. But who cares, right? Poems don't have to rhyme to be poems. It just has to be from your heart. <333
Have a nice day/ night further on!
- Rinisha
Thanks for your feedback. The reason the song didn't keep the beat is because I uploaded the lyrics of the song written in my native language with the help of machine translation. I really care about the sleepiness of the song.
ohhh, but it's very very very nice.
Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!
This poem is very raw and powerful. The speaker is desperately pleading, possibly to God, to make their life less unbearable.
It can especially be seen in this line. The speaker “asking for fairy tales” means that they are asking for their life to be magical and perfect, like a fairytale.
however, I was a bit confused by these lines:
What is “it” in these lines? Is it “unquenchable hope?” Is it the speaker’s life? I’m not quite sure.
Keep up the good work!
—GengarIsBestBoy