The Truth About Love

I would love (no pun intended) to be able to tell you I know how this feels, but I don't. Overall this was a wonderful poem, but I believe the first and second to last stanzas were a bit weak. There were a few missing commas, and the wording in some lines was quite a bit longer than others. I must also agree with the other review that says you might want to change stupid jock to dumb jock. Thank you for sharing this with the world, and keep it up.

I think that this poem was well written and you had me feeling your emotion in here. I like your moral that says " That you can't love a boy
Before you love you." I love that line mainly because it was just the plain truth. Keep writing.

Your poem reflects what your heart really feels. Its vivid descriptions help us to get a glimpse at your soul. Keep on writing! God bless you.

Okie dokie, this poem was full of raw emotion, and excellent descriptions. I loved it . The only thing that threw me off was the constant changing rhyme scheme, that can be fixed with a bit of massaging, but doesn't absolutely have to be. Other than that, the rhythm was off a few times like here:

He left me where I stood.
Me, frozen with shock.
the boy I had loved
was just a stupid jock. I would try to word this differently, it kind of takes away from the seriousness of the poem. How about "Was only a jock." The "stupid" part throws off the meter, and takes away from the tone of the poem, distracting the reader.


And here:

He had showered me with kisses
provided my everlasting sun. It's really just THIS line. "Provided" just doesn't fit. Try using a smaller word like "was" as in "was my everlasting sun." You could even write "He was my everlasting sun." But provided just doesn't fit.
He created joy within me
I believed he was the one.

And then here:

Maybe if someone had told me
told me the truth
It'd be so much easier, and I
wouldn't have wasted my youth. These lines throw me off, but I can't exactly point out why, so maybe it's just me, but I would read it through a few more times and see if there's any room for improvement.

But not here:

So young lover
I pass onto you
That you can't love a boy
Before you love you. I love this stanza, and it is very true. You're a great writer! Keep it up!

Hey. I don't have time to write a long review so all I will say is
1. Great poem!
2. It should be "Was just a dumb jock." It flows better.

Sorry this is so short. Anyway fantastic poem. Keep Writing!
Pollarbear out. lol

i love it keeep up the great work ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** panda21**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************