You said it,
now it's out there in the open.
Everything you have kept to yourself,
is now ringing in my ears.
All I can do is stand here,
feeling like I just got stabbed.
My mind starts to wonder.
Back to that day,
where you lied to my face.
Hope you’re happy.
Because it's killing me,
ripping me apart like razor blades.
My eyes start to burn,
with tears filled with love and hate.
Can you even see what you are doing?
Are you trying to show me respect,
or just trying to hurt me?
Then it hits me,
everything you put me through.
I want to start crying now,
but my blood is boiling.
I can't give him the satisfaction,
of knowing he hurt me again.
But I want him to hurt as bad as I am.
I want to tell him,
“Its me or her, choose wisely."
But I am not sure if I want to know
who he would choose in the end.
Maybe it's because I already know.
It would be her.
Before I can do something stupid,
I turn away from him,
from all the lies he told,
everything I put up with,
from my life completely,
and I run.
I run away.
And I don't want to stop,
because I know if I do,
I will break down again.
My body is starting to ache,
and my lungs are burning now,
begging me to stop and breathe.
But why should I breathe
when all my life is filled of pain,
with very little happiness?
My life seems like a nightmare now,
one where I am trapped in a cage,
a cage with iron bars, and a keyless lock.
I beg myself to wake up,
and I won't stop running until I do.
But I will never wake up,
this nightmare will live forever.
It is my life and I need to face it,
but I can't do it today.
Today I am running away,
from him and his lies,
and this time, I won't look back.
Hey brokensky,
Thus is MindBlown here to do a review for you! Ok so this is a phenomenal poem. It flowed nicely which made it very easy to read. I don't see a rhyme scheme in this poem though. This was a deep poem that I enjoyed reading
~MindBlown
Hey BrokenSkye,
I would like to say this is a very dramatic poem. I'm sure a lot of people could relate to this situation. I like how you describe her thoughts, and her emotions as she feels them. The poem has a steady rhythm, which contradicts to how unsteady the speaker of the poem must feel. I liked it.
There was a little spelling mistake in the first staza. You put, "All I can do it stand here," and I think you mean is instead of it.
There was one line which confused me for a moment, so I had to read it a few times before I got it. I think you should simplify it to make the meaning more obvious.
"But I want him to hurt as bad as I do." The as bad as I do was what stumped me. A suggestion could be, 'I want to hurt him as much as I am."
Apart from my little nitpicks I liked this poem and think the ending was a very good summary to it all. Keep writing
Deanie x
This poem describes the situation i am in mostly the part that says " I want to tell him, Its me or her, choose wisely. But I am not sure if I want to know who he would choose in the end.
Maybe it's because I already know. It would be her". Your poem is so deep and so many people could relate to what you were feeling. Its hard to go through that because sometimes you don't find the word to actually walk away and move on.
Very moving
This is quite simple yet dramatic. I loved it and I can relate myself with this work. I often run away every time I'm hurt.I think some people out there will like this,like me.