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Step into her shoes

by BrokenHeartsAri


Run

run from your thoughts

and hide from  the constant

questions.

keep your problems at a personal stage

don´t let anyone in

they´ll only use you...

Step into the girl´s shoes

see what she goes through

hear what she hears in her head

nothing fights her more than

herself.

feeling broken she got

nowhere to hide

her friends say they care

and as much as she wants to...

she just can´t believe them.

a simple look in the mirror

she waits for it to shatter

the scars that litter her body

you never asked about

she needs help

but she too afraid to seek it

too much past for her to explain.

she doesn't want it thrown in 

back in her face.

the only answers you get from her

¨Nothing¨

or ¨I´m ok¨

Did you ever wonder about her?

did you ever think Mabey she´s

feels lonely?


Mabey she  wants to climb and jump off a bridge 

because that may be 

her only escape.

No, you didn´t.

You ignored her silent pleas

her constants ¨sorrys¨

you never thought to hug her

and just let her cry

The word happy makes her cry

you get frustrated with her

you never break it down

you scream the harmful words

until you threaten to

leave her standing alone.

she quickly makes it back to her feet

apologizes for her problems

giving you stress.

you tell her she is not

depressed


one day, she will disappear

regret could eat you alive

You cut the laces to her shoes

you run barefooted to yours.

do you see now?

she´s not lonely


she is just distant


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Wed May 19, 2021 1:16 am
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MeherazulAzim16 wrote a review...



Hi Ari!

Here with the review! Before I begin, sorry for the delay. I know it's been a while since you requested it.

First thing I noticed about this poem is the heavy use of italics. It made me wonder. After multiple reads, I decided that the italics are meant to signal to the reader that they are now inside the head of girl that the narrator is talking about. That also means that I think "stepping into someone's shoes" has been used as a metaphor for "being inside someone's head" in this poem.

"Step into her shoes" begins with lots of abstractions: thoughts, questions, problems. The first significant imagery we get appears on the 7th line.

Step into the girl's shoes


This imagery comes right after we've had a sense of what it's like to be in the mentioned girl's head, the intrusive thoughts he has to constantly deal with.

run from your thoughts
and hide from the constant
questions.
keep your problems at a personal stage
don´t let anyone in
they´ll only use you...


It's interesting that her thoughts themselves are telling her to run from them.

More imagery comes later, starting with the 19th line.

a simple look in the mirror
she waits for it to shatter
the scars that litter her body


This is specific, thus vivid, and powerful.

Did you ever wonder about her?
did you ever think Mabey she´s
feels lonely?


By the end of the first stanza, the italics reappear, signaling that the inner voice of the girl has possessed whoever the narrator is addressing, or the reader in this case. At first, we only heard what she heard. Now that intrusive voice is talking directly to the addressee/the reader. This continues on to the next stanza.

Mabey she wants to climb and jump off a bridge


We get more imagery after a significant absence, once again vivid, making very clear the girl's state of mind.

The word happy makes her cry


This line hit me hard emotionally. I can't say specifically why but it's probably one of my favorite parts of the poem.

you get frustrated with her
you never break it down
you scream the harmful words
until you threaten to
leave her standing alone.
she quickly makes it back to her feet
apologizes for her problems
giving you stress.
you tell her she is not
depressed


The second stanza, especially this section, gives the reader a lot of information about who the inner voice might be addressing, who the narrator really wants to put in the girl's shoes. It could be a friend or a family member or a relative. Someone horribly ignorant. Not emotionally supportive at all. I'd say this section of the stanza does a pretty good job of painting a subjective picture of who is being addressed.

one day, she will disappear
regret could eat you alive
You cut the laces to her shoes
you run barefooted to yours.
do you see now?
she´s not lonely

she is just distant


The poem ends with the ignorant addressee being overwhelmed by the inner voice of the girl. Since they've taken off the shoes and run, they probably never get to hear the last five lines. They're perhaps the most significant. "She is not lonely; she is just distant." I've been thinking what this could mean and I'm not sure. Is she not lonely—only absentminded—because the inner voice always accompanies her? I think that may be the implication but I could be wrong.

The most interesting thing about this poem to me is the voice inside the girl's head and how it was characterized. The voice did a good job of making the addressee feel bad for their negligence, telling them thing they don't want to hear and leaving them panicking. Seemingly a good Samaritan. But isn't it the same voice that constantly tortures her in the same way? Telling her things she wouldn't want to hear? For example: "they´ll only use you..."

That means the inner voice itself—the shoe itself—isn't good or evil. Irrespective of who's the wearer, the voice will give them the same treatment. I think that's the point of the poem. Showing the addressee what it's like to step into the girl's shoes, to be in symbiosis with that voice and the intrusive thoughts it produces.

Last but not least, I have noticed that you used an alternate spelling of the word "maybe" twice in the poem. Both in italicized sections. I'm not sure if it was a typo or if it was intentional, meaning to add to the inner voice's characterization. You also used double spaces between words in a single line in at some point.

and hide from the constant

Mabey she wants to climb and jump off a bridge


I think this is more likely a typo. I'm not sure because the extra spaces didn't quite feel undesirable to me. They sure affected the way I read the poem but in a good way. That is, of course, subjective.

I think this is the end of the review. Those are all the interpretations and thoughts I had. I liked reading this piece and it was definitely an interesting one to review.

Take care and keep writing!

~MAS






Thank you



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13 Reviews


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Mon May 10, 2021 10:31 pm
SadboyJay wrote a review...



first i would say about this is this is a really good poem and keep up the good poems and you are a really good poetry writer. second this poem is really to desspressed a little i just don't like
you said you tell her she is not depressed that's what i don't like. third keep up the good sad poems through keep working the poems cause we support you. forth i don't like when you said giving you in the streets its a little desspressed.




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Sun May 09, 2021 8:46 pm
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MomoMajesty wrote a review...



Hey Ari! I'm here with a review.

This is a really good poem! I'm so sorry for whatever you might be going through, and I am here for you. At least something beautiful came out of it; this poem! <3

Something I noticed throughout the poem, was instead of apostrophes, you used `. Usually writers use apostrophes in poetry, but you can use these (`) if you want!

Also, I saw you bolded the dialogue. Most people don't do that, just so you know!

..did you ever think Mabey she´s...

That should be maybe here.

I'm not sure if you intended to, but there's a lot of space at the bottom of this poem. It's fine, but it made me think that there was more at the end.

That's it! This poem was great; keep writing!
Momo






Thank you for the review



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Fri May 07, 2021 12:43 pm
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BlueGlow wrote a review...



This is an incredibly dark poem but I think you conveyed your point quite well. There are people out there who are unable to trust others and communicate their problems, excellent work communicating it for them. Perhaps in the future you might want to put some sort of warning as to the content of the poem as that is commonly done when it comes to topics such as this. Nice job giving a voice to the voiceless!






Thanks for the review



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Fri May 07, 2021 12:37 pm
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LiviK wrote a review...



"keep your problems at a personal stage

don´t let anyone in

they´ll only use you..."

I love this part, I feel it every day. It's like this feeling that you must hide away or someone might use you. Behind this part, I see a broken girl. One that is afraid to truly see a good day.

"a simple look in the mirror

she waits for it to shatter

the scars that litter her body"

This could be a figure of speech or a simple call for help but I feel it too. The mirror seems to always tell you that you're not good enough. It screams at you, tells you to give up. And it hurts. It hurts so bad.

"you scream the harmful words

until you threaten to

leave her standing alone."

The ironic thing is, it sounds like this girl already feels alone. Knows that she is only there for herself. And the screaming only makes it true in her mind. So, when they say leave you alone. The girl knows it's only physical. Because mentally they already have.

I love this poem. You did outstanding work.






thank you!




I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones.
— John Cage