Published April 25, 2011
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,544 Literary Works • 673,415 Reviews
Hello there,
This is definitely something we can all relate to. There's always that one annoying person who seems to devote their whole life to ruining other peoples. I liked this poem because it was so simple and interesting. I can't find anything majorly wrong with this but I don't think the rhyming was as natural and subtle as it could have been, it seemed like the whole poem was working around the rhyming words so that they fit in. Overall though I did really liked this and I hope to see more of your writing around.
From CuteJackRussell
Looks great, BESS! (that stands for BrightEyedSoulSister, by the way)
Well, I have someone in my class who matches your description PERFECTLY, (Sebastian, ick. Euggghhh.) so I can really relate. Sorry that this was a pretty sucky review, I will try to get a REAL one to you sometime this week. If I don't, feel free to PM me and shout at me until I do it. MWAH! *blows kiss* Now for bedtime... *falls onto bed and promptly falls asleep*
Ahahaha, this poem was really good! It was both funny and well-written. I know a guy that is kind of similar to this... he just loves causing conflict and being annoying. It's in a harmless way, but I could still do without.
It's a little too long I think.I liked the rhymning and I thought the rythmn was good. There was only one line that I felt it was a bit off:
I also thought that the wording was a bit awkward here:
Another than those two minor suggestions, I really enjoyed this poem. Welcome to YWS, and keep up the great work!
Btw, I'm following you
I loved this so much! Yes ellipsis means "Dot Dot Dot"( I`ve never heard of it either:) ) Thank you for joining and then writing this!
Yes it does
Thank you! But, I'm sorry, "ellipsis" means "dot dot dot"? Sorry I sound dumb.
Oh my goodness I love that!
One thing; In this line ------>"...A game in which he never surrenders, no matter what I say or do."
I kind of got confused for a moment, because of the use of the ellipsis.
Other than that, I liked this piece a lot.
Keep going
Kirah