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The Circle Of Stones- Chapter I

by BrandonWalker

Unsettling silence.

The air is getting thinner by the second, and I have been staring at the ground for what feels like decades.

Surrounded by a circle of large stones, different from one another, yet they all seem to share some sort of common essence.My survival instinct kicks in, as my head is overflowingwith options.

Should I stay silent? Play dead? Pointless. If the past is any indication, large stones care not for my little act. It may work as long as I keep my eyes shut, but the moment I'll open my eyes I'll be back here. Trapped again.

Should I flee then? Impossible. My legs won't move. Even if they did, I never was much of an athlete. Thinking back, I have been running for years. Running from people, from places, from myself. Yet somehow, regardless of the amount of time I spent running, there were always people, there were always places, and there was always me.Whenever membersof the human race feel lost, they find something or someone to turn to. A location indicator if you will- Because if you have no idea where you’re heading, you should at least know where you are.

Some turn to family or friends, some turn to religion, drugs, or altruism. Some stay frozen in place, until the inevitable arrival of their expiration date.Being a member of the human race I was not above having the need for a location indicator.My so called ‘Safe Haven’appeared to be more reliable then family or friends. It was much cleaner then alcohol, More available and socially accepted then drugs, and made much more sense to me then religion.

And so, I fell in love with Sorrow.I was probably too young to remember the first time we met, for I have been in a relationship with sadness since I can remember. After all, one who comes to this world not crying, is feared to be dead.

That doesn't mean I never felt happy or excited though. I could go out with friends or even sing on a stage and truly enjoy it, yet every time I was watching a movie, reading a book,or telling a young lady in school how I feel, I could sense my heart beating heavily, as if it was begging- "break me... Crush me... Shatter my feeble existence". And who could blame me? Sadness did not cost any money, holding on to it was not against the law. If anything, it was extremely convenient to acquire, it brought the kind of pleasure that only goes hand in hand with agony, and it was never out of reach.Just open your eyes and it's wherever you look. The world is more then just bits of sadness of course, but it is everywhere non the less.For some reason I could always find comfort, looking deep into the emerald eyes of that reliable Lady called Despair.

I lost myself in her warmth more times then I can count and she has always been there for me.Whenever I wanted to be inspired, to create a musical piece, or just clean my head completely, I could summon her in an instant by thinking of anything from the Nature of theHuman Race, to this emptyloneliness I brought upon myself every now and again.Only a while ago I could sense the aftermath of our relationship, some sort of emotional entropy. Apparently, Lady Sadness doesn't like sharing her habitat with others, theretofore she did everything in her power to make sure I’ll end up alone, and empty.While Feeding on every single thing that used to fuel me, she grew to inhabit my mind almost Exclusively.Summing her was no longer an option but a default. I could feel myselfgrowing numb,with food slowly turningbland, as moments of sorrow would slap me across the face whenever I was starting to be filled with genuine joy.

By now I’m almost out of oxygen, like a kid deep under water swimming up, doubting his ability to reach the surface with the air he has got left.

For the love of me I have no Idea how I got here, nor do I know what I should do now that I’m here.

As the stones around me begin to morph slowly into semi familiar shapes, I’m left with almost no air at all, kicking and swinging my way for that vague hope of reaching the surface, not knowing what I’m even trying to reach. One thing was certain- I was too stressed to call upon my safe haven. She will not help my this time.With the little power I had left- my feet touch the ground, my muscles work together to supply me a higher vantage point that feels crucial for my survival. Half way there I notice that the circle of stones has turned into a circle of people sitting in cheap looking chairs. With every bit of strength I could muster, I stand up and say-

”Hello everyone. My name is Ben Butler, and I am an addict”.

Unsettling silence...

Very unsettling...

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231 Reviews

Points: 3770
Reviews: 231

Thu Feb 12, 2015 11:52 pm
dogsrule5 wrote a review...

I love this book! Dogs here for a review! Great book, I love your writing style and techneique. Sorry I'm a bad speller!


I didn't find much nitpicks, but there are probably a few that I missed. I will go back and read it again... But later, when I'm board, and right now I need to finish this review!

Not saying... Just, never mind.

Alright so grammar seemed fine, so does the other stuff...

Alright I will talk to you later,
great book

Keep up the good writing,

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15 Reviews

Points: 268
Reviews: 15

Thu Feb 05, 2015 5:05 pm
JasmineC wrote a review...

Hello, I'm here to review! So to start with I would like to say that you used some great imagery and I especially like the simile where you compared feeling breathless to a kid swimming underwater and 'doubting his ability to reach the surface.'I love your philosophical thinking that runs through this poem. 'Some turn to family or friends, some turn to religion, drugs, or altruism. Some stay frozen in place..I fell in love with sorrow,' definitely made me think about what I and other people use as their 'safe haven'.Making the reader think is always a positive! However, I was slightly confused to how despair and sadness provides a sense of comfort or security. This is because you usually turn to your 'safe haven' to try and stop being fearful, sad and having a loss of hope, (not the other way round.)
But except from that I think you gave a really good build up which lead to an interesting spin, and you used complex and effective language which I congratulate you on! I hope to read more amazing stuff from you!

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Points: 445
Reviews: 3

Wed Feb 04, 2015 5:19 am
betterinred wrote a review...

I got your message and I'm here to review!
So first off, I love your writing style. It is just somber enough to get the point across without being overly depressing. I can totally see you adding on to it! It's a great start.
I completely thought this was going to be something different, but I was wrong and I like that. You make it seem like the story is going in a completely different direction and I enjoy how many "flaws" of humans you point out.
The only thing I see is that some words are randomly capitalized like Sarah12 pointed out, and there are some missing spaces in some places.
I'm looking forward to reading more of this! Let me know when you put up the next chapter!

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38 Reviews

Points: 144
Reviews: 38

Mon Feb 02, 2015 11:11 pm
Sarah12 wrote a review...

Hi! Sarah here to review, like I said I would. I totally agree with @IceWinifredd and @LittleFox down there. This is a great piece of work. I like how you have the reader expecting one think, then you send them spiraling through their own thoughts on who they are and what the human race really is. You subtly tied in a lot of the issues in the world, while still invoking emotions in the reader and leaving no room for argument. There are virtually no spelling errors in this piece, and it all flows nicely. So that leaves grammar.

One thing I noticed is that scattered throughout the chapter, you forget to put spaces between word or sentences. Every once in a while, it would be okay, but it's kind of distracting from the overall message you are trying to get across. You also randomly capitalize words that shouldn't be capitalized. For example:

While Feeding on every single thing that used to fuel me, she grew to inhabit my mind almost Exclusively.

In this line, you shouldn't have feeding capitalized, and exclusively shouldn't be either. \

Overall, I really like the vibe of this and the way it makes the reader think about what the text is saying. It really takes the reader inside the character. Good job! You've captivated me. I can't wait for more!

Keep writing!

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118 Reviews

Points: 629
Reviews: 118

Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:20 am
IceWinifredd wrote a review...

Whoa. This is so amazing. At first, I thought this was a story about a kidnapping. But I like how this story turned out even better. I can't complain about anything either; punctuation, grammar, and capitalization are all in check and the structure of the story is clean and organized. Honestly, i think this write is flawless and you've done an excellent job writing it. Great job! You've got a great piece here! Good luck on your writing! -IceWinifredd

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100 Reviews

Points: 1395
Reviews: 100

Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:08 am
LittleFox wrote a review...

Hello, LittleFox here to reveiw!

I really liked this and I would love to see an extension to this. The tone is beautiful; a bit somber and thoughtful. I also really liked the twist at the end.

The only thing I would change would be maybe adding a little more action in the middle somewhere to just break up all the thoughts a little. But With or without more action, this was wonderful!

I hope to see more of this later so keep on writing!


The very worst use of time is to do very well what need not be done at all.
— Benjamin Tregoe