Morning came quickly. Max lay awake listening to the sounds of the street below. He remembered how he used to listen to the birds back when he lived in the blue zone. So much had changed since then.
The smell of kebabs wafted in through his window from the small shop below his bedroom, making him realize just how hungry he was. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He reached to his bedside table and picked up a glass, taking a drink of the liquid before he remembered what it was. He spat the bourbon across the room and fell out of bed.
“Time for another day in the glorious red zone.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sam awoke when she heard the thud and subsequent shattering of glass. She chucked when she heard Max grunt. Sitting up she wondered what she’d do today. Perhaps nothing. She didn’t like going out into the streets alone. Maybe max or James could go with her. She slipped out of bed and out her door. She made her way across the hall, the floorboards creaking as she stepped on them. She heard a dripping come from somewhere nearby. It was sort of a joke among the four friends that they could never find the source of the sound. She got to the bathroom and pushed the door open, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
She got undressed and turned on the shower, shrieking as she was blasted by a torrent of cold water. She shivered as she washed herself, not taking too much time on her hair, as she was eager to be out of the cold water. The pipes started shaking. She looked up in horror, trying desperately to turn the tap off before it was too late. It was too late. Dirty, brown, muddy water shot out of the showerhead and covered her from head to toe. She turned the taps off and tried to wipe herself clean. Looking at herself in the mirror she saw that most of her skin was now brown with dirt. She briefly studied the scar that ran down her chest touching it and remembering how it got there.
A knock on the door made her jump. The young woman quickly wrapped her towel around her.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me. Hurry up.”
“The water’s dirty again.”
“Oh, again?”
Sam could hear the disappointment in Miranda’s voice.
“I still need to use the toilet, though,”
“Oh, well ok. I’m coming out now.”
Sam opened the door and passed Miranda, struggling to keep her towel around her. She started making her way back to her room down the hall. She liked listening to the creaking of the floorboards. She began twirling across them, doing a little dance of sorts in time to the creaking, smiling softly. She twirled, twirled again, again and again…
…Bumping right into Max. She froze, suddenly very self-conscious. She gripped her towel tighter and shrank back, pulling it up higher to cover her scar. Max marveled at her beauty, thinking her the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, even covered in dried muddy water. After realizing that he was staring, though, he quickly turned his head and covered his eyes.
“I’m sorry – so sorry I – I didn’t see you,” he quickly stammered.
“No, I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Could you just keep your eyes closed for a few more seconds while I get to my room?”
“Yeah, sure. No problem. Sorry.”
“No, don’t worry. I’m sorry.”
Max hated how he couldn’t talk to Sam properly. He was always quiet, he had nothing to say – well, he had a lot to say, but couldn’t bring himself to say it – and after the whole conversation was over, he always wanted to kick himself.
“Okay, you can open them now,” Sam said as she shut her door. Max opened his eyes. She was gone. The symbolism was so thick you could taste it, and it tasted bitter. Or was that the bourbon? Those kebabs smelled really nice now. He walked down the hall to go downstairs. 7 AM or not, he was getting a kebab.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sam dressed quickly, feeling strange after the encounter with Max. She noticed him staring, but at what, she didn’t know. Was it at her scar? Or was it at her? Don’t flatter yourself, she thought. She sighed. Her scar was a constant reminder to her of how inadequate she was, of how nobody loved her. She sat in her room half dressed, running her fingers over her scar, remembering how she got it, remembering what she had done. It seemed she’d lost track of time when a knock startled her for second time that morning.
“Who is it?” she asked now feeing rather deflated.
“It’s me. Can I come in?”
“Oh, Max. Uh, hold on.” She quickly threw on a shirt and tried to fix her hair. “Ok, come in.”
“My hands are kinda full.”
“Oh. Ok, hold on.”
She moved to the door and opened it to see Max holding 2 kebabs.
“I got one for you. They were cheap.”
Real smooth, idiot, Max thought, now regretting this. But Sam just smiled.
“Thank you, Max. Come in.”
Her sweet smile made Max feel better. Maybe things would be all right.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The man poured himself a scotch and returned to the windows behind his mahogany desk. They spanned from the floor to the ceiling and offered a great view of both the red zone and the other side of the blue zone. From his vantage point in his office on the top floor of the highest building in the blue zone he could see most of the red zone perfectly. The zones were so big that he needed binoculars to see the far side well. He heard the door behind him open. He didn’t turn. He thought it made him look more powerful. Maintaining control over your employees was important in business.
“Sir, everything is in place.”
“Good. Go and tell the men to suit up.”
“Right away, sir.”
The man finished off the last of his scotch, closing his eyes as he swallowed.
“Ah,” he sighed. He placed the empty glass down on the corner of his desk before turning his attention once more to the red zone and the wall that separated it from the blue. “so,” he thought aloud. “It begins.”
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139,607 Literary Works • 672,618 Reviews
Morning came quickly. (comma "and") Max lay awake listening to the sounds of the street below. He remembered how he('d) used to listen to the birds /back/ when he (had) lived in the (Capitalize >) blue zone. So much had changed since then.
Don't let this discourage you from writing, and I expect that I'll go back through the rest of this story to read the rest. 
The smell of kebabs (Perhaps use "drifted" >) wafted /in through his window/ (up) from the small shop below his bedroom, making him realize just how hungry he was. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. (comma, before reaching for) /He reached to/ his bedside table /and/ (comma, picking) /picked/ up a glass, (period) (He took) /taking/ a drink of the liquid before /he remembered/ (remembering) what it was. He spat the bourbon across the room and fell out of bed.
“Time for another day in the glorious (Capitalize >) red zone.”
Additions will be marked between (parenthesis) and things that should be removed will be marked in between /hash lines/.
The beginning of this chapter is alright, but it does need some revision. However, I like how it has begun, and the character, Max, is an interesting character already. I'll try and weed out the errors in the next bit of your work.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
First thing that I would like to say is that you should usually complete an entire chapter in one P.O.V. (Point of view) rather than create small paragraphs in different observations. This is mainly because it drags away from the feeling the reader was just developing for your original character, Max. Now you are talking about Sam and the reader nods, continuing until eventually you will switch character observation once more. It grows tiresome and it makes the reader lose interest. (However, this is partially based on opinion.)
Sam awoke when she heard /the/ (a) thud and (the) subsequent (sound of) shattering of glass. She chucked (< chuckled) when she heard Max('s) grunt. Sitting up(,) she wondered what she/’d/ (was going to) do today. Perhaps nothing. She didn’t like going out into the streets alone. Maybe (Capitalize >) max or James could go with her. She slipped out of bed and out her door.(comma, making) /She made/ her way across the hall, the floorboards creaking as she stepped on them. She heard /a/ dripping come from somewhere nearby. It was sort of a joke among the four friends that they could never find the source of the sound. She got to the bathroom and pushed the door open, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
-- You start a lot of your phrases with the pronoun "She" try using something else. You can always start a sentence with another word. For example : Undressing, she turned on the shower. There is no need to start a sentence repeatedly with the pronoun "she" because it begins to wear on the reader considering they know that your character is a female. Try using it as little as possible, and even then only when absolutely necessary. It especially grows confusing if and when you reach a conversation between two female characters. --
She got undressed and turned on the shower, shrieking as she was blasted by a torrent of cold water. (< Revise) She shivered as she washed herself, not taking too much time on her hair, as she was eager to be out of the cold water. (-- This sentence is a little strange, reread it and revise.) The pipes started shaking. She looked up in horror, trying desperately to turn the tap off before it was too late. It was too late. /Dirty,/ (Capitalize >) brown, muddy water shot out of the showerhead and covered her from head to toe. She turned the taps off and tried to wipe herself clean. Looking at herself in the mirror she saw that most of her skin was now brown (< Find another word. You have already said brown.) with dirt. She briefly studied the scar that ran down her chest touching it and remembering how it (had) got(ten) there.
A knock on the door made her jump. The young woman quickly wrapped (the) /her/ towel around her(self).
“Who is it?”
“It’s me. Hurry up.” (perhaps add who the character is. Add a "said Miranda")
“The water’s dirty again.”
“Oh, again?”
Sam could hear the disappointment in Miranda’s voice.
“I still need to use the toilet, though,”
“Oh, well ok. I’m coming out now.”
-- Sadly, I do not have time to review the entire piece but this should help you get started with the corrections of the chapter. I may be back later to correct the rest.
Write on,
Wisp.