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Meme warriors Prologue.

by BorderlineWyvern

in a mountain, of nothing but flying cats and roaring, stood maru, the one Scottish fold standing, guarding his place. He looked ahead, then he saw a silhouette of a giant bat flying to his territory. He stood his ground, with his fur sticking on end. "He's coming," he said to his pupils, lil' bub, colonel meow and bunny pancake. 

"Cover your tail!" Then as the giant bat entered, he stood all lean and tall, in a black suit, with dark red hair and light pink hair on each end. "Meme destroyer," maru growled. "Maru," he replied. Then as both animals stood against each other, Maru growled, the meme destroyer smiled. 

"ATTACK!!" Then Maru jumped, eyeing his enemy, then pouncing onto the meme destroyer. He dodged, smiling and then turned around. "Try harder!" He roared. Then Maru slashed his claws across the destroyer's face, making his roar. 

"You LITTLE RUNT!!" Then they both fought, with Maru dodging every move destroyer made, only to  accidentally jump on meow. All four animals got up, stood up to the meme destroyer and attacked once more. 

Then as they fought, the meme destroyer slashed at Maru, but bunny pancake juggled something on his head, a skull on the top of some corridor and dropped it on the meme destroyer. Maru then struck at his face and it gave him a searing scar across his face. 

The meme destroyer grabbed lil bub and then tried to attack her, but bunny pancake and Maru judged at him and grabbed onto his back, their claws pulsing inside of his back. The meme destroyer howled painfully and grabbed onto them, throwing them down. 

Colonel meow decided to get out of his hiding place and then lunge Onto the meme destroyer's back as well, biting him and clawing him. He cried once more but then grabbed onto all of them and blasted them away. 

"This is so logicless!!" He growled. "the searing fiery scars, the claws and all this incompetent techniques. I had tried to destroy your world and create one in my own image. AND I'M USING YOUR LEADER'S STONES TO DO IT!!" 

Then the other meme fighters had been blown away by his last and final tactic and then he had fiery fire around him. "You will REGRET THIS LATER, LUCAS!!" Hissed Maru. "BECAUSE GRUMPY CAT AND HER FRIENDS ARE RECRUITED AND THEY'LL STOP YOU!!" 

"We're sure of it!" Bunny pancake growled. "Ah," their enemy snarled. "Another prediction? A prediction that YOU MADE UP!!" Then Maru had grown angry, getting up and then snarling. "Lucas," he said again. 


"That little lonely ghost bat." Then the meme destroyer finally breathed a final blow and then it blew them all away. "Will grumpy cat, Gabe and the others save us?" Bunny pancake asked lil bub and Maru. "They will," he said. 

"Colonel Meow!" He said. 

"Yes, sir?" He replied. 

"Find grumpy cat, all the others and then join them." 

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117 Reviews

Points: 11345
Reviews: 117

Mon Nov 21, 2016 4:51 am
Astronomer wrote a review...

Hello there, BorderlineWyvern!
This is Moonwatcher here with a review!

(Please ignore any mistakes because this is a mobile review, ans mobile reviews are very difficult.)

Might I just say that I love this. Memes are always something fun to toy around with, and I haven't seen something like this before, I don't think (although I have seen specific fanfiction about a meme). I suggest maybe changing the genre to Humor/Fanfiction? Although that's your choice.

I do want to complain about the readability. There's some lack of capitalization at the beginning of paragraphs/sentences, some commas missing in places that they should, and I find that dialogue with multiple punctuation is kind of odd? I think one exclamation point is fine instead of three. I feel as if that kind of gets in the way of the reader's interest and distracts them from moving on without interruption.

Instead of pointing them all out, to spare the unnecessary length of this review, I'll leave it up to you to find them. I'd try reading the chapter. Not in your head, because mistakes could easily slip. Instead, read it out loud, that way the mistakes are easier to find. If anything sounds off, sounds choppy, or needs improvement, fix it.

I agree that this doesn't sound very much like a prologue. Prologues shouldn't really be necessary to the story's plot, and I feel kind of lost throughout the story. If this is important to the plot, make it a chapter. Because sadly, a lot of people skip prologues.

I hope my review helps you out, and have a great day! ^-^

Why do people skip prologue so anyway?

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95 Reviews

Points: 4906
Reviews: 95

Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:02 am
Gymnast2801 wrote a review...

Hi there Whyvern, it's Gymnast2801 here with a review for The Black Cat Squad!

Firstly, welcome to YWS, even if you are a month old! And secondly, I'm sorry that you've had to wait so long for a review. But anyway, I'll just let you know that I will be reviewing while I read so I will leave my overall thoughts at the end of this review. So...let's get started!

-in a mountain, -
'in' needs to be capitalized because you are starting a sentence.

- stood maru, -
In 'maru', the M should be capitalized because you are (as far as I can gather) talking about someone/something.

- Scottish fold... -
Fortunately, I am a cat freak so I know my cat breeds. 'fold' should be capitalized because it is part of the breed's name.

- lil' bub, colonel meow and bunny pancake. -
All of these names should be capitalized.

NOTE: I am going to let you pick out all the names that need to be capitalized because it will be good for you to find what needs to be fixed. If your having trouble, you can always contact me through PM or my wall.

- "You LITTLE RUNT!!" Then they both fought, -
You should sperate this at 'Then'

- ...and then lunge Onto the meme destroyer's... -
1) 'Onto' should not be capitalized.
2) 'meme destroyer's' should also be capitalized because it's an animal's name.

- "the searing fiery scars, -
'the' should be capitalized. And I'd like to add that I like how you used 'searing' for a description. That is very nice!

- ...Bunny pancake growled. "Ah," -
1) 'pancake' needs to be capitalized because it's part of this cat's name.
2) Start a new paragraph after 'growled'.

Time for overall thoughts. was alright. Defiantly room to improve but this is a very nice start! You defiantly need to work on your capitalization. Just remember, every charcaters' name gets capitalized and every time you start a new sentence, you start with a capital letter.

I also feel like this isn't a prologue at all. It feels like I'm in the middle of your story without a clue of what's going on because I don't know what has already been established before this battle. I don't know these characters except for Grumpy Cat, and I don't know what is going on.

But I like how you ended at a bit of a cliff-hanger-type-thing!
Please keep writing!
-Gymnast2801 for The Black Cat Squad!

I would but, I have no points left.

Gymnast2801 says...

Oh, well you get points by reviewing other people's work. Maybe do a few reviews and I'm sure you'll get enough :) The most you can get per. 1 review is 100 points.

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Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:29 pm

"In a mountain, of nothing but flying cats and roaring, stood Maru, the one Scottish fold, standing, guarding his place."
So much plots added to the detail, and the setting! Ooh! Really good! Is there anyway you could continue? Because the suspension after the silhouette part was giving me the chills, there.
Since this paragraph "saw a silhouette of a giant bat flying to his territory." Something where people don't know the person at first, but then do when he comes. Very good.

And also "AND I'M USING YOUR STONES TO DO IT!!" So, Lucas vampbat stole the stones, the moonstone and then sunstone, because I guess this solved the theory.

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Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:24 pm

Hey, that's pretty good! How you added some suspension in the beginning, so dark...

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Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:23 pm

This is pretty good. Also, the fighting and how it went out. Hmm, very good though. So, did they all fall out of the realm or just felt weak at the end?

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Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:48 pm

It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien