Published April 3, 2007
Wingless bird, how desperately you call
out from your own locked in cage,
your once raging power; now not racing at all
shrieks disgust the air, but not known as rage,
holds onto warmth in cold branches that fall
danger awaits nearer now than these frozen beds,
yet passion for life never fully leaves or ends!
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Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
How is the power raging and racing? Try revising 'now not'.
You also used 'rage' twice in the poem. Try changing that.
Over all, I think it was pretty good. Not your best, but once again, MAJOR KUDOS for the rhymes!