First of all I liked what this piece was about, it was very deep and meaningful. I wish I could write things like that in the morning!!
However, it didn't flow right. It didn't have a constant amount of rhyming, or syllables or lines.
I really liked this:
Can you see past tomorrow?
When you are stuck in today?
That's what got my attention.
I loved your idea but the technical side needs a little revising,
Great work,
Alainna
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Points: 5890
Reviews: 410
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