Can a heart be more
Than the shell that others see?
Can a spirit transcend
Its own mortality?
Is a mind worth less
Than the face it hides behind?
Can a soul be more than
the dust it’s trapped inside?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Okay I liked this poem short and sweet here's my suggestion.
Can a heart be more...
Than the shell that others see?
Can a spirit transcend...
It's own mortality?
Is a mind worth less...
Than the face it hides behind?
Can a soul be more than...
the dust it’s trapped inside?
I agree with Nyconz421 the poem should be longer but other than that this poem is on of your best.
Good poem. Only thing is...it seems as though there should be more to it. Besides that it is good.
Really nice poem, short sweet and good questions asked.I think they are all question you need to answer yourself in yours life before you can find the will to express or live a full life.
I hope you have found positive answers to the questions in this poem. I know i have and i hope the same if you have not answered them yet.
Great imagery and glad it was not dragged out over more and more lines, straight to the point.
Good work and ill be sure to keep an eye out for future posts.
A good use of questions, the poem makes the reader think. I can't really offer much constructive criticism. I like the rhyme of "see", "mortality" and "behind", "inside" - it is very effective.
I think that you could probably expand on this poem and offer answers as well as questions to the reader. Making someone think is all well and good, but if you offered some sort of opinion on the questions you asked I believe the reader would be forced to think even more.