A breeze blew over my body. it smelt strongly of sand, but the cool air that followed was refreshing. i opened my eyes slowly, the clouds from before were still there, forever circling the sky.
"...Get...up."
once again, i heard the voice. For awhile it has been telling me to move, but i'm not sure what it meant. i lifted my arm up; it pointed to the sky for a few seconds before falling onto my chest. Bits of sand clung to the sweat on my body. it felt...sandy.
"Keep....moveing....don't....stop."
Where the voice was comeing from is a mystery, but it didn't concern me. i decidedto listen to it to see where it would take me. Slowly i moved my arms and legs. The sensation was new to me, i don't remembering standing up before, but my body seemned to naturally know what it was doing. I stood there, looking at the world around me. For miles and miles, the world was flat and bare. large mountains could be seen in all directions.
"Go...to your....left."
without any questions, i turned and started walking. My bare feet felt pain whenever i stepped on a small rock, so i made it a habit to watch where i step.
"your...other...left....moron."
This voice was differnt than the first voice, but still only audible from my head. i turned around and started walking, makeing sure to advoid anymore rocks.
..........................................
I have no idea how far nor how long i have been traveling in one direction. The sun never sets here, the clouds never move nor produce rain. My feet felt so much pain from walking so long. "How much further?" i asked to myself looking at the horizon. no matter how far i walked, the mountains never came closer.
"You'll get there....when you know...where your going." the first voice answered.
My body shuddered in supprise, but quickly settled. "So...where am i going then? What is my purpose here?"
"Who are you...Think about that." the second voice answered. I stopped walking and looked down. i had no memory of my name. not just that, when or where i was born, my family or friends, who i loved, who i hated, what i believed in, what i did for my life, none of it would come to mind.
"Look at....your right hand." the first voice said.
I lifted my right hand and looked at it. it looked the same as the left, only mirrored. Before i could ask for another clue, a room appeared around me, with tall windows and a even taller cieling. a book rested in my right hand, with a blink of an eye, all of what appeared disapeared. the suprise made me step back. Suddenly, my whole body felt to be on fire, but nothing could compare to the feeling of pain in my head. My mind felt on the verge of splitting, as though something was trying to squeeze out. quickly i fell to my knees and and grabbed my head, praying that i could hold it together.
"Think....what was that book? What was....on the cover?"
"I...I DONT KNOW!" i screamed, looseing controll of myself. My mind and eyes were a frenzy of images. they flashed before me over and over, i can't make them out but each time more pain washed over me.
"Focus on that book!" the first voice rang through my ears. The images kept flashing over and over, but the image of the book showed up more and more.
"Think you lazy creature....what is on the book's cover?" the second voice ordered at me. As it spoke, the image was easier to focus on the book. the book was black... and had a symbol in gold on the cover...near the bottom also in gold was a few words.
"Good good, almost got it....read it outloud." The words became more clear, easier to read.
"Father...Archard." The words fell from my mouth, takeing the weight of my pain with them. i stayed there, on my hands and knees, gasping for air. drips of sweat rolled down my nose. slowly i moved my head up, tears from the pain before slowly clouding my vision. i wiped them away, and was greated by a new surrounding. The wasteland of nothing was gone, now wooden buildings were around me. It took some effort, but i stood and looked around. everything was... familiar at least.
"Where....am i?" As i looked for a sign of my current location, i realized i wasn't alone. Shadows floated through the empty town, moveing silently to what ever destination they were traveling. They would randomly become clear enough to see, as real people, then disapear back to the form of a dark mist.
"thats difficult to explain. find some place to sit... we'll explain." one of the voices. i looked around me, all the buildgins looked familiar, yet at the same time i coudn't place why.
"Just go into the one to your right, there is usually seats in there...you do remember what your right is?" the second voice said as i got myself to stand up. i was suprised to no longer feel the ground beneath my feat. i looked down at myself: i was now wearing boots, slacks, and a button up shirt. All black, with a white strip going down my side. Accepting the fact i was no longer naked i looked to my right. It was silent in there, but i remembered music played there often, makeing the lack of sound a ominious warning. I walked through the doorway, there no longer was a door there.
The shadows moved through the room, unaware of my presence. They moved through the room on thier own agendas, fading one second only to appear somewhere else. I sat down on one of the barstools i saw no activitie with. My eyes quickly fell on the mirror on the other side of the counter. i had to move around a little to see past the bottles in the way, but i was able to get a decent look at myself. the only outsideing features i had was my eyes and hair. My hair was very spikey, they covered my entire head. my hair was white at the base but slowly turned black near the tips. My eyes were almost completely black, dark like marble. There was a thin white line white line around my iris, without it it would look like i had no eyes at all.
"Like what you see? we made you ourselves." one of the voices said to my right. The stool near me remianed empty, but in the mirror a figure sat there. It looked like one of the shadows walking through the town, only much more solid and white, not black.
"Well, he did. Personally i thought you wouldn't make it, but it is nice to get a brake." The other voice appeared next to me, only visable in the mirror like the other. unlike the other he was a solid black.
I looked at the two, unaware where to start. "Tell me spirits....who am I and what are you?"
to be continued....
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
Okay I have some things that I should point out. Mostly its spelling and grammar. But I really do love this story. Just going to check over the spelling.
A breeze blew over my body. it(It needs to be capitalized.) smelt strongly of sand, but the cool air that followed was refreshing. i(I needs to be capped.) opened my eyes slowly, the clouds from before were still there, forever circling the sky.
"...Get...up."
once(Once) again, i (I) heard the voice. For awhile it has been telling me to move, but i'm(I'm) not sure what it meant. i(I) lifted my arm up; it pointed to the sky for a few seconds before falling onto my chest. Bits of sand clung to the sweat on my body. it(It) felt...sandy.
"Keep....moveing(moving)....don't....stop."
Where the voice was comeing(coming) from is a mystery, but it didn't concern me. i(I) decided to listen to it to see where it would take me. Slowly i(I) moved my arms and legs. The sensation was new to me, i(I) don't remembering(remember) standing up before, but my body seemned(seemed) to naturally know what it was doing. I stood there, looking at the world around me. For miles and miles, the world was flat and bare. large(Large) mountains could be seen in all directions.
"Go...to your....left."
without(Without) any questions, i(I) turned and started walking. My bare feet felt pain whenever i(I) stepped on a small rock, so i(I) made it a habit to watch where i(I) step.
"your(Your)...other...left....moron."
This voice was differnt than the first voice, but still only audible from my head. i(I) turned around and started walking, makeing(making) sure to advoid anymore rocks.
..........................................
I have no idea how far nor how long i(I) have been traveling in one direction. The sun never sets here, the clouds never move nor produce rain. My feet felt so much pain from walking so long. "How much further?" i(I) asked to myself looking at the horizon. no(No) matter how far i(I) walked, the mountains never came closer.
"You'll get there....when you know...where your(you're) going." the first voice answered.
My body shuddered in supprise(surprise?), but quickly settled. "So...where am i(I) going then? What is my purpose here?"
"Who are you...Think about that." the second voice answered. I stopped walking and looked down. i(I) had no memory of my name. not(Not) just that, when or where i(I) was born, my family or friends, who i(I) loved, who i(I) hated, what i(I) believed in, what i(I) did for my life, none of it would come to mind.
"Look at....your right hand." the first voice said.
I lifted my right hand and looked at it. it(It) looked the same as the left, only mirrored. Before i(I) could ask for another clue, a room appeared around me, with tall windows and a even taller cieling(ceiling). a(A) book rested in my right hand, with a blink of an eye, all of what appeared disapeared. the (The)suprise(surprise) made me step back. Suddenly, my whole body felt to be on fire, but nothing could compare to the feeling of pain in my head. My mind felt on the verge of splitting, as though something was trying to squeeze out. quickly i(I) fell to my knees and and grabbed my head, praying that i(I) could hold it together.
"Think....what was that book? What was....on the cover?"
"I...I DONT KNOW!" i(I) screamed, looseing(loosing) controll of myself. My mind and eyes were a frenzy of images. they flashed before me over and over, i(I) can't make them out but each time more pain washed over me.
"Focus on that book!" the first voice rang through my ears. The images kept flashing over and over, but the image of the book showed up more and more.
"Think you lazy creature....what is on the book's cover?" the second voice ordered at me. As it spoke, the image was easier to focus on the book. the book was black... and had a symbol in gold on the cover...near the bottom also in gold was a few words.
"Good good, almost got it....read it outloud." The words became more clear, easier to read.
"Father...Archard." The words fell from my mouth, takeing the weight of my pain with them. i(I) stayed there, on my hands and knees, gasping for air. drips of sweat rolled down my nose. slowly i(I) moved my head up, tears from the pain before slowly clouding my vision. i(I) wiped them away, and was greated by a new surrounding. The wasteland of nothing was gone, now wooden buildings were around me. It took some effort, but i(I) stood and looked around. everything was... familiar at least.
"Where....am i(I)?" As i(I) looked for a sign of my current location, i(I) realized i(I) wasn't alone. Shadows floated through the empty town, moveing(moving) silently to what ever destination they were traveling. They would randomly become clear enough to see, as real people, then disapear back to the form of a dark mist.
"thats(That's) difficult to explain. find some place to sit... we'll explain." one of the voices. i(I) looked around me, all the buildgins looked familiar, yet at the same time i(I) coudn't place why.
"Just go into the one to your right, there is usually seats in there...you do remember what your right is?" the second voice said as i(I) got myself to stand up. i(I) was suprised(surprised) to no longer feel the ground beneath my feat. i(I) looked down at myself: i(I) was now wearing boots, slacks, and a button up shirt. All black, with a white strip going down my side. Accepting the fact i(I) was no longer naked i(I) looked to my right. It was silent in there, but i(I) remembered music played there often, makeing the lack of sound a ominious warning. I walked through the doorway, there no longer was a door there.
The shadows moved through the room, unaware of my presence. They moved through the room on thier own agendas, fading one second only to appear somewhere else. I sat down on one of the barstools i(I) saw no activitie with. My eyes quickly fell on the mirror on the other side of the counter. i had to move around a little to see past the bottles in the way, but i(I) was able to get a decent look at myself. the only outsideing features i(I) had was my eyes and hair. My hair was very spikey, they covered my entire head. my hair was white at the base but slowly turned black near the tips. My eyes were almost completely black, dark like marble. There was a thin white line white line around my iris, without it it would look like i(I) had no eyes at all.
"Like what you see? we(We) made you ourselves." one of the voices said to my right. The stool near me remianed empty, but in the mirror a figure sat there. It looked like one of the shadows walking through the town, only much more solid and white, not black.
"Well, he did. Personally i(I) thought you wouldn't make it, but it is nice to get a brake(break)." The other voice appeared next to me, only visable in the mirror like the other. unlike(Unlike) the other he was a solid black.
I looked at the two, unaware where to start. "Tell me spirits....who am I and what are you?"
to be continued....
Okay I loved the idea but all the mistakes made my head swim. But hopefully you'll fix those and look through and cap all your I's and beginning of sentences. Good luck and can't wait for more of this story it's intriguing.
sorry about the caps. too used to spell check saving the day and was unable to use it for this