How lovely are you, depression;
You who swim soundly in our hearts,
Our sanity, our reason, you tear apart.
You who guide our gullible hand,
To paint the red masterpieces you planned.
How lovely are you, depression;
You who drive our emotions and fears,
And corrode us to nothing more than tears.
You who nurture our mind with sweet lies,
And seek to stay with us, till we die.
How lovely are you, depression.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,693 Literary Works • 672,653 Reviews
Thanks for sharing this poem which establishes a mood of verbal irony to describing depression.
The poem although short raises some very serious questions such as:
1. How is a tearing of our sanity and reason apart lovely?
Depression inducing of insanity might be a way for the mind to protect itself from an unbearably painful reality. There definitely are situations where it is better to be mad. For example, it is better for a raped woman to be mad than to know she is being raped. Depression might lead to off madness for prisoners awaiting execution in order to alleviate anxiety.
2. How does depression guide our gullible hand?
Once more the claim provides an opportunity for an example. It is certainly a fact that depression prevents us from seeing flaws in others that would make us suspicious were we not depressed. It does tend to lead us to accept ridiculous promises in order to escape it. Example, if we have an incurable disease and are depressed and are offered a miracle cure-depression will predispose us to accept the ridiculous offers.
3. How does depression seek to stay with us until forever?
This one seems to need no example since we all know how hard it is to come out of a depressed state and see the light at the end of the proverbial dark tunnel. Maybe it is a self-evident truth similar to the statement that ice is cold.
In any case, examples might be included in the poem to provide support to the claims.
Poetical Devices I liked:
I like the repetition for emphasis of:
“Depression how lovely you are!”
I like the use of rhyme and alliteration
[alliteration and rhymes]
swim- soundly- sanity-seek- stay
guide - gullible
fears-tears
lovely soundly
hearts-apart
lies-die
Suggestions
It swims soundly in hearts?
[I had to pause to try to understand what swimming soundly means and couldn’t come up with an idea to provide it with meaning. The use of ”heart might be seen as a cliche’]
Emotions and fears are not two categories. It is like saying vegetation and trees or humans and men as if they were different.
All in all a very interesting read. Looking forward to reading more of your work.
Hailo, Radrook!
Thank you for the review, it shows that you gave it a lotta thought XD
To answer your second question, the line following "You who guide our gullible hand" would speak of painting red masterpieces, as in causing many to cut themselves. That would be my example for how depression tends to "guide" its victims.
I'll definitely keep your example-adding in mind in further poems or if I decide to revise this one.
Again, thank you!
How I missed that red painting part I don't know! Maybe my doubled vision had something to do with it. Thanks for pointing that out. Very good thought provoking poem. Look forward to reading more of your work.
Thank you for making this, this is an almost accurate representation of my depression. Maybe instead of a red masterpiece, it could be a more dark color, because red is more like blood, not exactly depression. Also, you could make two or three separate stanzas. Thank you for making this poem.
Hailo, LivitheWriter4! This poem initially came in 2 stanzas with an additional line, but then I forgot to check the "keep the whitespace" and it mushed it all together ;-;
In regards to the colour, on multiple occasions I've seen depression "guide" the "hands" of people to cut themselves, henceforth I've said "red masterpieces".
Hewo, I'm back with another review for a wonderful poem.
What a strange poem this is. I love it! I really like the way your Ode flowed. Perhaps you should add a little bit more detail to the end, it is a little off the way it abruptly ended.
I really don't have any problems with this poem. I liked you format and I also like the way you worded it. I just, agh. Anyways, I liked this and I really want to see more from you. Great work!
Hailo, toxicunicorn! Thank you for your review! Yes, I seem to have issues ending my poems XD
XD It's fine. I have the same problem on most things.