Young Writers Society


18+

Forgive Me Angel 💔

by Bleedingink


Warning: This work has been rated 18+.

December 5, 2021

" I wish this never happened. I wish, I wish this day wouldn't come," Mini said to herself and sighed. " Why did I go ? ," she said. " You know how monstrous the world is with you." She was crying.

" Fucking I don't have anyone to support me. I can't even tell mother ", she cried out loud. She was wailing.

Mini was a third year college student. She had failed in her previous semesters. " I have to do this, I have to , I'm so sorry my baby, my angel ", she cried, rubbing her right hand over her belly . " I'm so cruel to you I know but what can I do ? Your dad has fled. Fucking your dad has fled. That bastard has disappeared. I'm fucking alone, I'm so alone ", she cried, still keeping her hand over her belly. Her third semester was kicking in. She was so weak in Mathematics. She had failed in first and second semesters. " If I don't pass this time, what will happen to me? ", she said to herself, holding the textbook and the maths copy. " I'm a fucking disappointment to my family. To everyone around me. What will happen to me? ", she covered her face with her hands. Her hands were trembling. She ran to the washroom, bent over, knelt down and puked. It was the fourth time she was puking that day. Her head was spinning. She looked at the window. " Are you with me dear God? ", she started crying again. She stood and washed her face and let out deep breaths .

She sat down on the bed with her textbook ,the sample question papers and her copy. " I have to pass this time. No matter what happens", she said to herself and started solving. She solved five questions and sighed.

Her eyes fell on the pregnancy kit that was kept on the side of her bed. She held it close to her breasts. Yes, two lines. Pregnant! She was pregnant 9 weeks, 2 days already. She felt suffocated. She stared through the window. It was 1 pm , a sunny Tuesday afternoon. She had nobody to tell what she was going through. Her elder brother was studying MBA and was distant from her. Both of them disliked each other. She was not like him, studious and well-behaved. Not a good daughter, not a good sister. The sky was so blue. Life was going on. She let out deep breaths.

Suddenly, her phone vibrated. She was startled. She took it and saw a text. Mifepristone and misoprostol, mifepristone first and misoprostol after one day. And it would be done. It came from an anonymous number. " Hate you bastard , you coward, sending me text but fled in the right time, you bastard ", she was cursing. Pulling out a t-shirt and jeans from the wardrobe she went to the pharmacy.

Finally, the medicines were with her. She felt triumphant. As if she had already done it. Her face lit up. She was feeling hopeful. " Finally I'll get the relief I deserve . Finally I'll get rid of it ", she said to herself. She gulped down the mifepristone tablet. " I'll be free from this misery finally, I'll be free ", Mini said to herself , taking deep breaths. She was running her fingers over her belly. " I'll be free , I'll be free , you too will be, I don't deserve you ", she said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Wednesday She woke up with a start. It was 11 am. She had to take the second medicine. Her hands were trembling. She gulped down cold coffee and cookies nervously. She touched her forehead. She had fever. " Finally I'll be free ", she said to herself and opened her wardrobe. The misoprostol was lying there. It looked wicked. Her head was spinning.

She opened the half- emptied water bottle and gulped the misoprostol. " Finally, I'm free ", she said to herself, her voice breaking, tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her tummy. Her eyes were bulging out , it was so severe. " It's working then ", she said nervously and sat down on the bed. Her limbs were trembling. The pain was sharper this time. She kept her hands over her chest and cried out.

Something was flowing from her vagina. She rushed to the washroom. She opened her pants and saw blood. There was a pool of blood in her panty already. " It's happening ", she cried out. " I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I'm so sorry . I don't deserve you ", she cried out . The pain was so sharp she sat down on the floor. Blood was gushing out from her vagina. " God forgive me , I've sinned to save my name, my life , God please forgive me ", she cried out. She was perspiring heavily. The floor was bloody. " Help me please, help me somebody ", she cried out keeping her hands over her belly. " Why the hell was I so hungry for some work ? I have fucking played with my body, my life." She was wailing.

An hour passed by. She was lying down on the bloody floor. She was naked. Her clothes were on the floor, filled with blood. Another sharp pain, Lumps of red came out. Her heart was beating fast. " What the hell ? ", she cried out. Putting her fingers inside her vagina she felt something fleshy. She took her fingers out and saw tissues. She passed out.

Another hour passed by. Mini was lying, her body was trembling. She couldn't feel her legs. Blood was flowing cruelly. " I'm free, Im finally free, I have to be strong ", she said. Somehow she stood up and leaned against the wall. She turned on the shower and stood quietly. She was not crying. Her tears had dried. She closed her eyes and felt her body.

Cleaning the washroom she wore pad and fresh clothes. It was a heavy period. She placed a hot water bottle over her belly to reduce the pain. " A death in the family but nobody knows ", she said. She was hungry for modelling job and got her lesson. She was tricked. She paid the price. A death in the family and no sign of grief. A problem aborted but no relief.


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136 Reviews


Points: 22508
Reviews: 136

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Wed Dec 08, 2021 8:20 pm
stygianmoon17 wrote a review...



Hey there ! Here with a review :D

This was a really moving piece. I loved the way you presented this incredibly serious yet true topic. It's something not enough people write about, so I'm glad someone finally did :)

A few negative points I noticed, the beginning where you said the date. You could remove that and it wouldn't change a thing. Dates are usually used for a journal or to show a passage of time, here, it's kinda useless.
A small grammatical mistake here and there too, maybe you should look over it, and polish it. The one that disturbed me the mist was this one "Fucking your dad has fled." It should be "Your fucking dad has fled,"

But apart for that, the other mistakes are usually punctuation or really small.
For the ponctuation,
after a "word?" you don't add a comma. Cause the interrogation mark is like a comma, you shouldn't add another one after
after a "word." too, you don't say "I hate you." , said the girl. You say, "I hate you." said the girl




So for polishing, mainly small mistakes that are easily fixable.
In contrast to these small flaws, there are a lot of great things in this story!

The desperation of Mini is really poignant, and you have a great way at conveying emotions. It just felt so visceral during the whole text, and the finale was just so.. disturbingly sad. The picture is just the cherry on top, it's so pretty and it fits so well !
You're really good at emotional writing, it's a talent that rarely comes naturally to a writer.

Good job on this amazing story !




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45 Reviews


Points: 1801
Reviews: 45

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Tue Dec 07, 2021 6:50 pm
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Haileyg21 wrote a review...



HEYO! Nox here with a review! A good one I promise!

So I'll start off with this... When You character speaks She goes around it in an odd way. I like how it started but when she got to the father part It was hard to tell what words went where in the sentence
"I'm so cruel to you I know but what can I do ? Your dad has fled. Fucking your dad has fled. That bastard has disappeared. I'm fucking alone, I'm so alone "
Its not bad but Where you use the F word feels odd.

Other than that I really like how it was done, but I suggest formatting it so that when she speaks its a new paragraph. It makes it easier to read and Can make it a lot easier for Dyslexic people and People who read slower.

Its really nice overall and has a good future for writing more to it.

And with that I leave this review, with much thanks to you for sharing it with YWS and writing it the way you feels best.

~Nox





Ogres are like onions.
— Shrek