My Uncle Josh wrote this song so I, sadly, can't take credit for this song. I think that it is a very good song, but every one is entitled to their own opinion! So tear it up!
I've read every book
In every land
Searched through every language
Known to man
To finally express
What I've wanted to say
To tell you "I love you"
In an uncommon way
If I was a bird
You'd be my song
And I'd sit there and chirp
Everyday all day long
If my love was a tree
It'd stand there so tall
No weather could break it
It could with stand it all
Your my everything
Your my everything------(High)
Your my sun and my moon
The only star in my sky
The air I can't breathe
When I look in your eyes
Your in my heart and my soul
And you occupy
Every thought and every dream
That I have in my mind
'Cause your my everything
Your my everything----(low)
I could never be a ship
Lost out at sea
'Cuz your my compass
My direction
Dear God in me---(flat)
I know I was once lonely
A loveless lost soul
That's why God sent you my angel
To make my heart whole
Your my everything
Your my everything------(High)
Your my sun and my moon
The only star in my sky
The air I can't breathe
When I look in your eyes
Your in my heart and my soul
And you occupy
Every thought and every dream
That I have in my mind
'Cause your my everything
Your my everything----(low)
Now I know that these
Clips and phrases may sound absurd
But if you were my heart
You'd understand every word----(high)
Your my everything----(low)
Baby, your my everything
Your my everything
m---m---nah-ooh--(high)
Your my everything
Baby your my everything
Your my everything
Your my everything(fade)
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,775 Reviews
Hello hello. You probably won't see this, but I'll review it anyway~
So the thing about songs is that there needs to be a catchy chorus. I'm assuming that "you're my everything" is the chorus because of how much it is repeated - also you spelled it as your, which is incorrect, but I don't focus on grammar that much. Now, that's a great theme for a song because I assume it's for a specific person.
Although, with that in mind, I do have a few things to say -
I love how every verse is about nature in some way. It really brings out what was needed to come across as this feels very lovey-dovey. I've seen that a lot though, but if you can work it out nicely, it feels original. The reference to religion makes sense as well, as if you are religious and actively a believer, God is the creator.
I do have to say that the "dear god in me" section is confusing? I'm not sure if it's just a typo somewhere in what you wanted to get across, or if you actually wanted it to say that. I think I understand what you're trying to say here, but if you were to want it to sound more clear to people who read, maybe change up the wording choice.
First of all, I don't know what sound this is supposed to be. I assume it is more of an "ooh" sound because of the end, but not sure with how you started it off. Also typically in song lyrics, you don't really specify what noises you make other than the words you said. Like if there was an instrumental guitar riff in the midst of the song, that would be mentioned, but it wouldn't be placed in like it was another kind of lyric.
Lastly, not sure what the words in parenthesis are supposed to mean. I assume that because they all represent a sound or an overlay you could place onto a sound to change what it appears to come out as, it has something to do with that. I don't think it is best to have them right next to the words, and there are probably other ways to show that through musical signs on the instrumental guide and stuff similar to that.
That's all I have for this. Happy RevMo!
-- chi
Writing a review from a piece from 2008! Very impressive <3<3
Thanks guys! He was able to record this song on a CD because of North West Idol. He recorded it and gave it to his newly wedded wife on his wedding day and gave a whole wad of them to random people. I will make sure that he gets the word!
Wow!!!
Tell your uncle he can work for me(my band) anyday.!!!
Love rebbecca
Oh, I loved this. He did a great job. I loved the flow and rythm of it. It wanted to make me sing it out loud. He should be published.
Please tell him it was a job well done and that he should keep writing.