Published September 17, 2009
A lot of people have told me,
Half truth and lies.
Everything has turned out to be,
Events that leads to cries.
They resonant in my head.
They echo in my heart.
Make my spirit lead.
Putting my guts on a cart.
I can't help the meandering,
Of emotion and thought.
It just seems my soul is wandering,
It's existence is being fought.
Who cares if one person weeps?
Why does it matter? Oh the wailing.
It shivers up my spine, gives me the creeps.
And I find my morale flailing.
I wake to find another shattered piece.
My core is irrevocably displaced.
It seems this pain will never cease.
The light runs from my dark place...
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140,831 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
It'll do. I think everyone else caught the spelling mistakes and so forth. The teenage years are full of confusion and brooding. I wrote many such like this.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
-Barrett
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OK. So, my initial thought was that this is a really great poem. Lots of great descriptors, lots of cool metaphors.
However, on my second read through I picked up on a couple of little nit-picks.
"That leads to" should be "leads to" as it makes a lot more sense.
"Resonant" should also be "resonate" which is the present tense.
Sort that out, though, and it will be cool!
Keep writing!
Pgsgirl x