I sit, a Disney Princess coloring book on my lap.
"Dear God...
Once, I wanted to be a princess.
Truly? I still do.
Maybe you could lend me your shiny crown?
Perhaps I could borrow Mommy's high heels?
I've made a dress out of towels before. Sheets, too.
Which do I choose this time?
Surely I will never have the pink and blue silks of my favorite princesses.
But Sissys make-up is enough for today.
Would you mind terribly if I paid Molly-down-the-streets brother to be my prince? But I only have five dollars.
"Alas, your crown is too big for me. I have nothing for my head.
Mommy does not let me wear her shoes,
because I scuff them, she says.
My towels are in the dryer and my sheets, tucked into my bed.
Molly-down-the-streets brother has a girlfriend.
Even my sister is not generous with her lipstick and eyeshadow.
"Lord, all I wanted was to be a princess."
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I really think the last line needs work. It's annoying me. Any suggestions?
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I sit, a Disney Princess coloring book on my lap.
)
"Dear God...
Once, I wanted to be a princess.
Truly? I still do.
Maybe you could lend me your shiny crown?
Perhaps I could borrow Mommy's high heels?
I've made a dress out of towels before. Sheets, too.
Which do I choose this time?
Surely I will never have the pink and blue silks of my favorite princesses.
But Sissys make-up is enough for today.
Would you mind terribly if I paid Molly-down-the-streets brother to be my prince? But I only have five dollars.
"Alas, your crown is too big for me. I have nothing for my head.
Mommy does not let me wear her shoes,
because I scuff them, she says.
My towels are in the dryer and my sheets, tucked into my bed.
Molly-down-the-streets brother has a girlfriend.
Even my sister is not generous with her lipstick and eyeshadow.
"Lord, all I wanted was to be a princess"
Isn't this a narrative poem, not lyrical?
I liked it. You're a great poet.
I concur. I think that this would convey the meaning better in story form.
However, for your last line I would use "Lord, all I ever dreamed of was being a princess." Or something like that.
I think this was sweet, but it didn't flow very well. I think it would be better as a short story, or maybe a letter.
I liked the last line, but you're right, it doesn't fit. If you would change this so it wasn't a poem, I think it could convey more emotion if it was in prose form.