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Here comes the sun: A Loki Romance

by Blairwood


Most days Loki is the first one in the Avenger's Tower to wake up. Then are days like today where he just didn't want to move. He wished you stayed in bed beside him but were hungry. You offered to make him breakfast, but he declined and rolled over to close his eyes once more. Deciding to just let him be you sighed and kissed his temple and left to stuff some eggs in your face. You greeted the others as you walked passed them on your way to the kitchen. You made yourself breakfast and even a little extra in case anyone wanted some. After eating you made your way back to your room to change your clothes. Loki is, of course, still in bed.

Laying down next to him, you ran your fingers through his messy hair to get his attention. He made a soft noise signaling he was still awake. "How long are you planning on staying here?" You asked and rested your head on his side. He just made the same noise and you giggled. "I want you to get up and do stuff with me today!" You said cheerily and softy hit his back like a drum in an attempt to annoy him.

"Noooo." He mumbled as you kept drumming on his back making his voice sound funny.

"But I loooove you and I want to spend tiiiiime with yooouu!" You pouted. This time he didn't even respond. His face looked so peaceful you thought he went back to sleep. You got up from the bed and he grabbed the blanket to cover himself up more. Your eyes searched your room for a way to help you get your lazy prince boyfriend out of bed. You smirked when your eyes landed on your ukulele.

You picked it up and strummed a few notes watching Loki for any reaction. He loves sitting with you and listening when you play with a smile on his face. When he didn't budge you strummed some more until you decided to just play a song. You walked over to the window and drew the curtains. Even though his eyes were already closed he closed them tighter and then relaxed after a minute of getting used to the brightness. Even though it was meant make him get up, you strummed softly on the ukulele and started to sing.

"Here comes the sun" You watched as the corner of Loki's mouth twitch as he tried not to smile. "Here comes the sun, and I say it's all right." You smiled and tried not to giggle as you knew he was trying his best to ignore you. Your strumming became louder and more energetic. "Little Loki, it's been a long cold lonely winter." You thought calling him 'Little Loki' would give you something. I mean, it did but not what you wanted. He gave you possibly the biggest eye roll you had ever seen someone do and turned over away from you. "Little Loki, it seems like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun. Doo doo doo doo. Here comes the sun, and I say it's all right." You walked back around the bed and sat next to him so the noise would be close to him.

"Why can't I just be here in peace?" He grumbled and covered his head with his pillow. You giggled and continued playing.

"Little darling, the smiles returning to their faces." You looked down at your ukulele as you played. "Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun. Doo doo doo doo. Here comes the sun, and I say it's all right." You stood from the bed. The song was almost over but he still stayed in his position under the pillow. "Sun, sun, sun, here it comes." You repeated this line a few times softly. "Little darling, I seems that ice is slowly melting. Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear." You swayed your body to the music and closed your eyes enjoying the sound coming from your instrument. "Here comes the sun. Doo doo doo do." Again, you made your way over to Loki's side of the bed and removed the pillow. "Here comes the sun, and I say it's all right." You leaned down kissed his cheek and he scrunched his face.

"Here comes the sun. Here comes the sun. It's all right. It's all right." Instead of just ending the song after repeating the line a few times you decided to keep going and get louder as you went.

"Your strumming and singing were so loud at this point you were sure everyone in the tower could hear you. You bounced around and danced while singing so happily you didn't even notice Loki finally get out of the bed. Your back was turned to him so he used his right arm to wrap around your waist and keep you still while he used his left to yank the ukulele away. "Hey!" You whined. You were going to try and take it back but he stopped you with a kiss. You kissed him back until he moved to pull away.
"I love you and your tiny instrument but not when I'm trying to rest." He said and walked away with your ukulele.
"You don't love me when you're resting?!" You fake gasped and followed him as he made his way to your shared closet.
"You know what I mean." He said and opened the closet door.
"What are you doing?" You said suddenly serious.
Instead of answering you Loki places your ukulele on the highest shelf where he knew you couldn't reach it. "That." He smirked.
"Rude!" You exclaimed and tried to jump as high as you could to get it back. He chuckled at your attempts.
He grabbed you by your waist again and brought you back to the bed. He plopped you down and snuggled close to you, wrapping his arms around your body, trapping your arms under his so you couldn't move. "How about you spend the day with me instead?" He smiled and kissed your cheek.
You sighed in defeat knowing he wasn't going to loosen his grip unless you agreed. "Fiiiine!" He pulled you into his chest and you craned your neck to place a soft kiss on his neck. You felt him relax as he tried to drift back to sleep.


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Points: 189
Reviews: 2

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Tue May 28, 2019 1:26 pm
luna889 says...



I love this!




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Fri May 03, 2019 1:38 pm
26Gemini says...



That was so freaking cute! I feel so nice inside right now!




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122 Reviews


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Thu Apr 25, 2019 7:48 am
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papillote wrote a review...



Hi, @Blairwood.

Ahhhhhhhh, a fan-story, that brings me back…It’s pretty damn cute too. I think it would be even better if you told it with original characters and a couple of small editorial changes.

It’s sort of weird to have you talk to your readers directly like that, but I could get on board with it. Weird is fine. Weird can be fun.

My first issue was with the sequence of tenses in this story. You start out in the present. My advice: stay there. Don’t feel that you’ve got to use the past tense. Just stick with present time, you’ll find it much easier and I think it would fit very nicely with your style.

Another small change: careful with your capital letters.
“"How long are you planning on staying here?" You you asked and rested your head on his side. He just made the same noise and you giggled.”
You did that again and again. Small mistake, but very annoying.

“"I love you and your tiny instrument but not when I'm trying to rest." He said and walked away with your ukulele.”
Thank you for the inuendo. I’m suffering through an international criminal law course right now, and that just about made my day.

May I give you another small piece of advice? It’s not a mistake you made stricto sensu, but I feel like you’re wasting an opportunity. Poems and songs are awesome to pace your story, but it’s even better if you use the text of the poem/song more like a chorus in your story, punctuating at regular intervals, clearly separated from the rest of the paragraphs (maybe in separated paragraphs and in italics).

That’s it for me. You should keep writing, @Blairwood. Some people make fun of fan-stories, but I really enjoyed yours. Maybe you took existing characters, but you really made them your own, and used them in a fun, engaging way. Your short-story made me feel warm and lazy, like I have just woken up next to my boyfriend. It’s a crutch, to use existing characters, to have existing, known backstories to lean on: I don’t think you need it.

I hope this review will be helpful.




Blairwood says...


Thank you so much! btw i'm a weird person!



papillote says...


Weird's fine. I'm not winning any price for normalcy either. Good luck on the writing.
PS: if you don't mind my asking, how old are you?



papillote says...


Weird's fine. I'm not winning any price for normalcy either. Good luck on the writing.
PS: if you don't mind my asking, how old are you?



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122 Reviews


Points: 264
Reviews: 122

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Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:25 am
Anma wrote a review...



Hello @Blairwood!

Anma here to review, and give you tips ;) Lol

So first things first I want to point out what you could improve on in this story. The first thing i suggest is spacing. Your paragraphs need to be separated more. Its always easy to read when the parts someone is talking is separate from others.

For example
He made a soft noise signaling he was still awake.

(New line) "How long are you planning on staying here?"

You asked and rested your head on his side.

Also it looks like most of your line's are long. It would be better, and fun to read if you had more of a mix. Like when you listen to music not all the lines are the same length. Some could be four words, and the next could be two. Try and make your stories that way. :)

Your personal view is sort of confusing in a way. I'm not sure what to really count it as, but ya....

Also there is a few grammar and punctuation errors. I will point some of them out so you know what needs to be fixed.

"He just made the same noise(,) and you giggled.

"You said cheerily(,) and softy hit his back like a drum in an attempt to annoy him.

""But I loooove you(,) and I want to spend tiiiiime with yooouu!"

"You got up from the bed(,) and he grabbed the blanket to cover himself up more.

"Even though his eyes were already closed(,) he closed them tighter and( )relaxed after a minute of getting used to the brightness.

" (Also) though(,) it was meant (to) make him get up, you strummed softly on the ukulele and started to sing. (This is just a suggestion!)

"The song was almost over(,) but he still stayed in his position under the pillow.

"Little darling, (it) seems that ice is slowly melting.

"You leaned down kissed his cheek(,) and he scrunched his face.

There is a few more but I'll leave it at that!

Now for the good things!

Your imagery is great. When i was reading the story i could imagine it clearly. (It was actually quite cute) The way you wrote it was pretty good!

I really like the fact you added a song too. It really makes the story interesting, and fun.
The little romantic parts really caught my eye. Your really good at romance, so i would keep writeing more of it.

I really enjoyed reading this today.

Tag me if you want me to read over any of your works!

Keep it up!

Have a great day!

Sincerely
Anma




Blairwood says...


Thanks so much btw I love you new stories!



Anma says...


Thanks :) No problem




You can't blame the writer for what the characters say.
— Truman Capote